Today's nats Junior was kinda disaster.
Free medal, but honestly, they're starting to mean nothing to me.
Aye. I am grateful for them, but im starting to treasure the more importnat and prestigious ones more than the rest.
Today there was very little or almost no competition at all.
5 ppl for discus and 4 ppl for shot putt.
Kinda wierd.
I got 2nd for discus and 1st for shot.
My discus was 27.85m and shot was 11.16m.
Kinda wierd, really. Quite terrible.
Discus anyhow whack la. Not my pet also.
So lost to kelly, obviously. She didnt perform today, though. Aye.
Then shot putt...
Sigh...
I didnt get to warm up much and my food didnt get enough time to digest. By the time my throws got warmed up, the event was over. Every 5 minutes i have to throw one ball. And 5 minutes isnt enough to psyco and warm up and get excited. It was horrid. Afer my event, i still wasnt quite warmed up. I still had a whole lot of energy and i could like go for another 50 throws with no problem. Sigh. so i was trying to rid myself of the glycogen in my liver. So i walked around, jumped around and tried to get ppl to play badminton with me. Well. It didnt quite work. hahaha. But oh well.
Well. Up to now, my energy from all the food i ate still hasttnt been used up to the max. Pfffft.
Tmr sure grow fat. :( Oh no.
and tmr's the team meeting for Sea Junior.
From what i know so far, quite a number of awesome peeps are going. (:
I pray and hope for a great time there. :D
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
My mental barrier
I currently have a mental barrier i cant face.
Its like there is a cup on the table that i want to take.
It is an arm's length away.
I can take it if i just reach out my arm.
Thats how close it is to me.
Yet, when i reach my arm, i realise that there is a plastic sheet btw my arm and the cup.
And i cant reach it even though it is within reach.
Thats how i feel right now.
I need to break this mental barrier.
Oh God.
Help me.
Its like there is a cup on the table that i want to take.
It is an arm's length away.
I can take it if i just reach out my arm.
Thats how close it is to me.
Yet, when i reach my arm, i realise that there is a plastic sheet btw my arm and the cup.
And i cant reach it even though it is within reach.
Thats how i feel right now.
I need to break this mental barrier.
Oh God.
Help me.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Athelethically overwhelming
Today was a rather overwhelming day in sports. Haha.
Well.
In the morn, there was this BIG drama i created because i got accepted and am being sent to vietnam next week for SEA GAMES JUNIOR!!! :D :D :D
It came as a HUGE surprise as i kinda gave up the idea of getting in because the appeal was sent in 2 weeks ago, and the trip's next week!
So i was pleasantly surprised that i was shortlisted to go. :D
Thank the LORD!
Seriously!
So i'll be away from the 4th to the 8th of June. (:
Which is in exacly one week's time. Lol.
AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!
FINALLY GOT TO GO SEA GAMES! :D
And to be chosen, means that i have a chance to get top 3.
Oh God.
I want top 3.
I want 12m! :D
Ah well.
After that, was school.
Which wasnt exacly the best of days, but it was okay.
I ponned econs lecture to meet haoyi for lunch. :D
For the first time ever, my ex-coach treated me to lunch!!! *GASP!* :D
I was so thrilled. Hahahaha.
It was a rather good catch up session. (:
We're still as close as ever and haoyi...
Haoyi hasnt changed a bit. (:
And oh do i love that coach of mine. ^_^
Aye. I miss talking to him. Haha.
I wished we had more time to talk.
But time wasnt on our side. :( Boo.
So when his kids came, i went to put my stuff down, bought a fruit juice, then went to the pit to look for haoyi. (: Ah well.
After that, i had track exco meeting, which also came as a surprise because i didnt know i was in the exco since i knew i wasnt the vice cap. But i happened to be the secretary, which puts me in the exco. Haha. So, Hannah Lee Shih Yan of 09S32 is officially the track girls secretary and part of the exco. It is an honour to be chosen to be in the exco. (: Haha. But i also have to do all the admin work. Meh. No complaints here. I actually enjoy doing admin work. ^_^ HEE.
Well, during the meeting, i also learnt that Mr Melvin Tan is leaving, which is a rather big shock to me. :( I really looked up to him as a teacher and a coach and a motivator and a mentor and to know he's leaving is like.. BAM! :( I was quite sad actually. Still am. :( But ah well. Life has to go on. I guess its a different season for every one of us. And we just need to trust God and move on with life. (:
After the meetings and all, i had training.
Coach wasnt very pleased with all of us today.
He gave us attitude and we were kinda shocked that he was so angry.
Well.
I didnt throw too well today.
Infact, i havent been throwing well at all.
I barely pass 11m nowadays and that scares me big time.
It shows that i have not improved at all! :(
Honestly, im really worried abuot my throws.
I have this HUGE mental block infront of me right now which im finding rather hard to breech.
Somehow, i know i can reach 12m. I should be doing that now. But somehow, i cant. And its definately a mental block. :(
Somebody help me!!!!!!!!! :(
I really need to break that bariar to reach my full potential. :(
Aye.
On the way home with Miss Yu, who gave me a lift back home, i talked alot with her. And i learnt more baout her and coach. It was so cute! :P Did you know my coach used to coach James Wong? BIG SHOCKER THERE! Haha. Confidence level in coach has risen another lot. Haha. (: ah well.
Enough banter for now. (:
Well.
In the morn, there was this BIG drama i created because i got accepted and am being sent to vietnam next week for SEA GAMES JUNIOR!!! :D :D :D
It came as a HUGE surprise as i kinda gave up the idea of getting in because the appeal was sent in 2 weeks ago, and the trip's next week!
So i was pleasantly surprised that i was shortlisted to go. :D
Thank the LORD!
Seriously!
So i'll be away from the 4th to the 8th of June. (:
Which is in exacly one week's time. Lol.
AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!
FINALLY GOT TO GO SEA GAMES! :D
And to be chosen, means that i have a chance to get top 3.
Oh God.
I want top 3.
I want 12m! :D
Ah well.
After that, was school.
Which wasnt exacly the best of days, but it was okay.
I ponned econs lecture to meet haoyi for lunch. :D
For the first time ever, my ex-coach treated me to lunch!!! *GASP!* :D
I was so thrilled. Hahahaha.
It was a rather good catch up session. (:
We're still as close as ever and haoyi...
Haoyi hasnt changed a bit. (:
And oh do i love that coach of mine. ^_^
Aye. I miss talking to him. Haha.
I wished we had more time to talk.
But time wasnt on our side. :( Boo.
So when his kids came, i went to put my stuff down, bought a fruit juice, then went to the pit to look for haoyi. (: Ah well.
After that, i had track exco meeting, which also came as a surprise because i didnt know i was in the exco since i knew i wasnt the vice cap. But i happened to be the secretary, which puts me in the exco. Haha. So, Hannah Lee Shih Yan of 09S32 is officially the track girls secretary and part of the exco. It is an honour to be chosen to be in the exco. (: Haha. But i also have to do all the admin work. Meh. No complaints here. I actually enjoy doing admin work. ^_^ HEE.
Well, during the meeting, i also learnt that Mr Melvin Tan is leaving, which is a rather big shock to me. :( I really looked up to him as a teacher and a coach and a motivator and a mentor and to know he's leaving is like.. BAM! :( I was quite sad actually. Still am. :( But ah well. Life has to go on. I guess its a different season for every one of us. And we just need to trust God and move on with life. (:
After the meetings and all, i had training.
Coach wasnt very pleased with all of us today.
He gave us attitude and we were kinda shocked that he was so angry.
Well.
I didnt throw too well today.
Infact, i havent been throwing well at all.
I barely pass 11m nowadays and that scares me big time.
It shows that i have not improved at all! :(
Honestly, im really worried abuot my throws.
I have this HUGE mental block infront of me right now which im finding rather hard to breech.
Somehow, i know i can reach 12m. I should be doing that now. But somehow, i cant. And its definately a mental block. :(
Somebody help me!!!!!!!!! :(
I really need to break that bariar to reach my full potential. :(
Aye.
On the way home with Miss Yu, who gave me a lift back home, i talked alot with her. And i learnt more baout her and coach. It was so cute! :P Did you know my coach used to coach James Wong? BIG SHOCKER THERE! Haha. Confidence level in coach has risen another lot. Haha. (: ah well.
Enough banter for now. (:
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Power Hungry
Someone told me that i was power hungry today.
Well i wouldnt consider myself power hungry, but i would rather think myself to be a natural leader. Not that i think i am fabulous at leading a group or something, but its something that is natural, that is inborne, that is part of my rather dominant nature. I dont like commanding, ive learnt its not worth it. But yet i enjoy leading people. I enjoy taking the innitiative to lead a project, to lead people in the direction i believe is right.
Is that being power hungry?
I accept the decision made by the teachers in charge and by the track team.
Though honestly, i really did hope to be appointed the vice-cap of the girls team. But since i didnt, im fine with it too. (: I guess it wasnt the position for me, and i accept that. (: PErhaps Grace and Shiying are better than me. And i will support them because they are my captains.
Ever since i came to VJ, i have found my leadership path to be rather interesting. Instead of fighting to be in the lead, i decided to take one step back and follow instead of leading. I used to be someone in Fairfield. A rather prominant figure. A worship leader, a student councillor, a captain. But when i came to VJ, i decided i would desire none of the leadership position and just let nature take its course. And nature has taken a very interesting course for me. (:
I didnt join house com because i was afraid of the commitment.
I somewhat wish i did now cos it looks like SO MUCH FUN!
But i guess that wasnt quite part of my destiny, so be it. (:
I tried to run for class chairman but it was given to someone else.
Well, i guess my class didnt quite believe in me when we all first met and the networking among my classmates wasnt strong so i guess thats why i lost out. Well, i didnt mind settling for a normal student status in my class. (:
I didnt join the Students council.
I REFUSED to. Haha.
I;ve been in te prefects and council since primary school.
Enough rules for once in my life!
So. I didnt get any leadership roles.
I didnt quite volunteer for any.
As not humbling as this sounds, i humbled myself in VJ to take the roles of ordinary citizens of VJ- Only to become more outstanding than i'de imagine i'de become.
Lets start with my class, shall we. (:
Though i wasnt made the class chairman, i still lead the class in subtle ways. Im proud to say that i may not hold a prominant class position, but yet i have earned my classmates' respect. I Thank the Lord for the favour he has granted me with my classmates and thought i am a nobody in my class exco, i am a somebody to my class. I know for sure my classmates respect me and it touches my heart to know how much they care. (: Through SLV, i have seen how my class has supported me as a leader. Though i became the unofficial leader of the SLV, i have but proven my worth as a person and as a leader. And to me, that is good enough. (:
Whats the point of having a leadership role if you dont have the hearts of the people?
Wouldnt it be better to be a nobody, yet win the hearts of the people?
Thats something ive learnt.
And it is really interesting. (:
Secondly, Track and Field.
Dont get me wrong, im really really totally fine with not being the vice cap of the team. But it touches my heart to know that many of the trackers really believed in me and really looked to me as a future leader of the team. Well, though i may not be the vice cap, i will put in my effort to bring the team forward. (: Odd thing is, im not the vice cap of my own team, but im the vice cap of the ASEAN team. So which one speaks louder? Im not really sure. Haha. (: Quite interesting, no?
Well thirdly, i didnt join any leadership role in school.
But yet at the soccer match yesterday, when i shouted and asked the school to get on their feet to cheer for the soccer guys, they did.
I dont understand whats going on.
Maybe it was the recognition of person from musicfest.
Or Maybe its because i was totally loud and big and prominant.
I dont know.
BUt somethings happening.
God is granting me favour with almost everyone i meet.
I am making an influence on the people i meet.
I am impacting lives of people i meet.
Hmmm.
Maybe as Pastor Andy said, that as i impact people, i'll direct them to God?
I dont know.
But i smell destiny.
And i know its not far away any longer.
Lord, call.
Call me.
I believe you have the best planned for me and i dont wanna miss a thing.
So.
Am i power hungry?
Haha.
Give everyone what you owe him,
if respect, then respect;
if honor then honor.
Romans 13:7
Well i wouldnt consider myself power hungry, but i would rather think myself to be a natural leader. Not that i think i am fabulous at leading a group or something, but its something that is natural, that is inborne, that is part of my rather dominant nature. I dont like commanding, ive learnt its not worth it. But yet i enjoy leading people. I enjoy taking the innitiative to lead a project, to lead people in the direction i believe is right.
Is that being power hungry?
I accept the decision made by the teachers in charge and by the track team.
Though honestly, i really did hope to be appointed the vice-cap of the girls team. But since i didnt, im fine with it too. (: I guess it wasnt the position for me, and i accept that. (: PErhaps Grace and Shiying are better than me. And i will support them because they are my captains.
Ever since i came to VJ, i have found my leadership path to be rather interesting. Instead of fighting to be in the lead, i decided to take one step back and follow instead of leading. I used to be someone in Fairfield. A rather prominant figure. A worship leader, a student councillor, a captain. But when i came to VJ, i decided i would desire none of the leadership position and just let nature take its course. And nature has taken a very interesting course for me. (:
I didnt join house com because i was afraid of the commitment.
I somewhat wish i did now cos it looks like SO MUCH FUN!
But i guess that wasnt quite part of my destiny, so be it. (:
I tried to run for class chairman but it was given to someone else.
Well, i guess my class didnt quite believe in me when we all first met and the networking among my classmates wasnt strong so i guess thats why i lost out. Well, i didnt mind settling for a normal student status in my class. (:
I didnt join the Students council.
I REFUSED to. Haha.
I;ve been in te prefects and council since primary school.
Enough rules for once in my life!
So. I didnt get any leadership roles.
I didnt quite volunteer for any.
As not humbling as this sounds, i humbled myself in VJ to take the roles of ordinary citizens of VJ- Only to become more outstanding than i'de imagine i'de become.
Lets start with my class, shall we. (:
Though i wasnt made the class chairman, i still lead the class in subtle ways. Im proud to say that i may not hold a prominant class position, but yet i have earned my classmates' respect. I Thank the Lord for the favour he has granted me with my classmates and thought i am a nobody in my class exco, i am a somebody to my class. I know for sure my classmates respect me and it touches my heart to know how much they care. (: Through SLV, i have seen how my class has supported me as a leader. Though i became the unofficial leader of the SLV, i have but proven my worth as a person and as a leader. And to me, that is good enough. (:
Whats the point of having a leadership role if you dont have the hearts of the people?
Wouldnt it be better to be a nobody, yet win the hearts of the people?
Thats something ive learnt.
And it is really interesting. (:
Secondly, Track and Field.
Dont get me wrong, im really really totally fine with not being the vice cap of the team. But it touches my heart to know that many of the trackers really believed in me and really looked to me as a future leader of the team. Well, though i may not be the vice cap, i will put in my effort to bring the team forward. (: Odd thing is, im not the vice cap of my own team, but im the vice cap of the ASEAN team. So which one speaks louder? Im not really sure. Haha. (: Quite interesting, no?
Well thirdly, i didnt join any leadership role in school.
But yet at the soccer match yesterday, when i shouted and asked the school to get on their feet to cheer for the soccer guys, they did.
I dont understand whats going on.
Maybe it was the recognition of person from musicfest.
Or Maybe its because i was totally loud and big and prominant.
I dont know.
BUt somethings happening.
God is granting me favour with almost everyone i meet.
I am making an influence on the people i meet.
I am impacting lives of people i meet.
Hmmm.
Maybe as Pastor Andy said, that as i impact people, i'll direct them to God?
I dont know.
But i smell destiny.
And i know its not far away any longer.
Lord, call.
Call me.
I believe you have the best planned for me and i dont wanna miss a thing.
So.
Am i power hungry?
Haha.
Give everyone what you owe him,
if respect, then respect;
if honor then honor.
Romans 13:7
Sunday, May 24, 2009
An appreciation a day keeps the sadness away
Today as i did SLV publicity with Yi qian, after all our discussion, she tahnked me, and it really touched my heart. (:
This is what she said:
thanks hannah, for putting in so much effort in our class's SLV
honestly, if we really manage to do well for our SLV, you were the one that made it possible(:
thanks hannah!
It may not be much, in fact its only 2 lines.
But the power of 2 words - Thank You, can go a long way. (:
Thank you, yi qian.
And Thank you Lord for the reminder.
To always be grateful for everything you have, be it great or small, cos everything is worth the 2 small but powerful words- Thank You.
This is what she said:
thanks hannah, for putting in so much effort in our class's SLV
honestly, if we really manage to do well for our SLV, you were the one that made it possible(:
thanks hannah!
It may not be much, in fact its only 2 lines.
But the power of 2 words - Thank You, can go a long way. (:
Thank you, yi qian.
And Thank you Lord for the reminder.
To always be grateful for everything you have, be it great or small, cos everything is worth the 2 small but powerful words- Thank You.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Random stuff
Ah well.
Just a few random stuff. (:
Alot of stuffs been happening and honestly, i was a little emo the past few days.
I guess ive somewhat come to terms with the things that have been happening, yet they still remain slightly sore. I gotta take more time to figure that out. Yupp. I need a little more time and thinking space. Sigh. :S
Well, Last friday, Pastor Andy prayed a prayer of blessing over every single one of RR's SPs during Lcell, and that prayer really relaly relaly blessed me. I really wondered what God would tell him to tell me cos I didnt know what to expect.
I was hoping for an answer to all ive been pondering about, or like a look into my future, or like a specific area to grow in or move in in VJ.
But i received something else, something unexpected, something really great.
Pastor Andy started off saying how he saw a picture of a heart beating. Pulsating. And with every pulse it beats comes a strong wave that flows from it and impacts anything it hits.
He said that heart is like my heart. A heart full of love. A heart that is so full of love it overflows with love. There's just so much, so overwhelming amount of love in that heart.
And the deepest desire i have in my heart is to impact every single person i come in contact with. And the thing the Lord will say to me that day, is that through that impact that i bring, i lead people to God.
I found what he said to be so amazing cos really, ever since the beginning of the year, i have found favour with both God and men. And it really really really is the deep desire of my heart to impact people i meet, and honestly, i really have. And i thank God for that.
And that part about me leading them to God, im gonna keep believeing in that. (: God has been amazing through my walk in life, and i really wanna share it with those i love. But i just havent quite been on my game the past few months. I dont know. I need something. A jolt or something. Sigh. Life conference maybe? Haha. (:
Anyway.
VJ has been winning sports like mad for the past few weeks.
I am so really really proud of VJC right now!
And im even prouder to be a VICTORIAN! :D
Im so glad i didnt go ACJC.
Just dont have the click. haha. (:
Just affinity with VJC i guess. :D
Im so justified.
Haha.
Come on. Mugger school that pawns in sports?
FOOF! Welcome to VJC. ;)
I love VJ. :D
GO VJ GO VJ GO! :D
And school has been a little mad recently. HAHA.
Botin's positively insane.
Well, its partly my fault.
HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHA.
Ah well.
Im infectious. ;)
What can i say? :D
Oh something Russel told me last weekend or a few weekends ago.
He said he was praying and talking to God and God told him this:
It was about someone who made a decision because the person knows God is calling the person there, but its not what he/she wanted. And that person will always question God about this decision and wonder what it would be like if they made the other choice.
And Russel said after that, God told him that person was me.
Well, when i first heard it, i was shell shocked cos when he was sharing that with the cell, the first thought that came to my mind was "Thats not me. (:". And it was me. T-T Well, that was the week that musicfest just ended. My life seemed perfect. So i didnt hitnk it was me. Now, im not quite sure. There may be a few things he's refering to, but its still not exacly it. But i'll keep it in view cos it might come to pass soon. i dont know. God DID say that he's gonna take me i to somewhere i dont expect. Hmmm.
Ah well. (:
I bought a book/album to store my eventful events in VJC. :D Gonna start on it! :D WHEE! :D
Just a few random stuff. (:
Alot of stuffs been happening and honestly, i was a little emo the past few days.
I guess ive somewhat come to terms with the things that have been happening, yet they still remain slightly sore. I gotta take more time to figure that out. Yupp. I need a little more time and thinking space. Sigh. :S
Well, Last friday, Pastor Andy prayed a prayer of blessing over every single one of RR's SPs during Lcell, and that prayer really relaly relaly blessed me. I really wondered what God would tell him to tell me cos I didnt know what to expect.
I was hoping for an answer to all ive been pondering about, or like a look into my future, or like a specific area to grow in or move in in VJ.
But i received something else, something unexpected, something really great.
Pastor Andy started off saying how he saw a picture of a heart beating. Pulsating. And with every pulse it beats comes a strong wave that flows from it and impacts anything it hits.
He said that heart is like my heart. A heart full of love. A heart that is so full of love it overflows with love. There's just so much, so overwhelming amount of love in that heart.
And the deepest desire i have in my heart is to impact every single person i come in contact with. And the thing the Lord will say to me that day, is that through that impact that i bring, i lead people to God.
I found what he said to be so amazing cos really, ever since the beginning of the year, i have found favour with both God and men. And it really really really is the deep desire of my heart to impact people i meet, and honestly, i really have. And i thank God for that.
And that part about me leading them to God, im gonna keep believeing in that. (: God has been amazing through my walk in life, and i really wanna share it with those i love. But i just havent quite been on my game the past few months. I dont know. I need something. A jolt or something. Sigh. Life conference maybe? Haha. (:
Anyway.
VJ has been winning sports like mad for the past few weeks.
I am so really really proud of VJC right now!
And im even prouder to be a VICTORIAN! :D
Im so glad i didnt go ACJC.
Just dont have the click. haha. (:
Just affinity with VJC i guess. :D
Im so justified.
Haha.
Come on. Mugger school that pawns in sports?
FOOF! Welcome to VJC. ;)
I love VJ. :D
GO VJ GO VJ GO! :D
And school has been a little mad recently. HAHA.
Botin's positively insane.
Well, its partly my fault.
HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHA.
Ah well.
Im infectious. ;)
What can i say? :D
Oh something Russel told me last weekend or a few weekends ago.
He said he was praying and talking to God and God told him this:
It was about someone who made a decision because the person knows God is calling the person there, but its not what he/she wanted. And that person will always question God about this decision and wonder what it would be like if they made the other choice.
And Russel said after that, God told him that person was me.
Well, when i first heard it, i was shell shocked cos when he was sharing that with the cell, the first thought that came to my mind was "Thats not me. (:". And it was me. T-T Well, that was the week that musicfest just ended. My life seemed perfect. So i didnt hitnk it was me. Now, im not quite sure. There may be a few things he's refering to, but its still not exacly it. But i'll keep it in view cos it might come to pass soon. i dont know. God DID say that he's gonna take me i to somewhere i dont expect. Hmmm.
Ah well. (:
I bought a book/album to store my eventful events in VJC. :D Gonna start on it! :D WHEE! :D
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Im sorry.
Here's a list of things im sorry about:
Im sorry i wanted to be somebody.
Im sorry i even thought i could be somebody.
Im sorry i couldnt make you believe in me.
Im sorry im not good enough.
Im sorry for being a field champion.
Im sorry for not being smart enough.
Im sorry you think im lazy.
Im sorry i cant seem to buck up.
Im sorry i know myself better than you know me.
Im sorry i cant prove it to you.
Im sorry i know whats best for me.
Im sorry i am not allowed to choose.
Im sorry for choosing professions you dont support.
Im sorry i cant be wise.
Im sorry my interests arent like yours
Im sorry i cant follow my dreams.
Im sorry for having so much faith in myself.
Im sorry for having faith in God.
Im sorry i cant be as realistic as you.
Im sorry i think so optimistically.
Im sorry i can sacrifice.
Im sorry ive thought about the price.
Im sorry for beliving in myself.
Im sorry for ever thinking i was special.
Im sorry for being a disappointment.
And most of all, Im sorry for being me.
Because all that i am, is all that you dont agree.
So, im sorry that i am ME.
Im sorry i wanted to be somebody.
Im sorry i even thought i could be somebody.
Im sorry i couldnt make you believe in me.
Im sorry im not good enough.
Im sorry for being a field champion.
Im sorry for not being smart enough.
Im sorry you think im lazy.
Im sorry i cant seem to buck up.
Im sorry i know myself better than you know me.
Im sorry i cant prove it to you.
Im sorry i know whats best for me.
Im sorry i am not allowed to choose.
Im sorry for choosing professions you dont support.
Im sorry i cant be wise.
Im sorry my interests arent like yours
Im sorry i cant follow my dreams.
Im sorry for having so much faith in myself.
Im sorry for having faith in God.
Im sorry i cant be as realistic as you.
Im sorry i think so optimistically.
Im sorry i can sacrifice.
Im sorry ive thought about the price.
Im sorry for beliving in myself.
Im sorry for ever thinking i was special.
Im sorry for being a disappointment.
And most of all, Im sorry for being me.
Because all that i am, is all that you dont agree.
So, im sorry that i am ME.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Vice-captain
Hello all. Sorry for not updating.
Theres just been so many things going on and i havent been too bothered to write. Haha.
Anyway.
Yesterday, VJ PAWNED ACJC! :D
I ponned training just to watch that soccer match. Haha
I had to somewhat dignify my choosing of VJ over AC.
And i sure did. (:
Haha.
VJ won AC in soccer and the match was SOOOOOO EXCITING!
Ive never been so excited in a soccer match in my entire life! It was just so so so awesome. (:
Sat with Jaanani and Mindi and that was extra fun. (: ahahhaha.
Anyway. We won 3-nil. Our favour. (:
The match was awesome. :D
Well. I dont feel like sharing more for now.
My first friendship problem in VJ.
Bummer.
But just one thing before i go.
Today i had the first ASEAN meeting with the track team.
Half the team's the same as last year's. Haha.
Well, i was very honoured as i was selected to be this year's team vice-captain for girls.
It may not seem much, and it may seem like i have to do all the 'sai-kang', but i still feel honoured to have been selected to lead the team this season. (:
Thank you Lord for the appointment of leadership.
I may not be the vice cap of the VJ track team, but i am the vice cap of the ASEAN track team. (:
Thank you Lord. Haha.
And God, HELP. I need wisdom to lead this team. (:
Ah well.
Toodles for now yall.
Theres just been so many things going on and i havent been too bothered to write. Haha.
Anyway.
Yesterday, VJ PAWNED ACJC! :D
I ponned training just to watch that soccer match. Haha
I had to somewhat dignify my choosing of VJ over AC.
And i sure did. (:
Haha.
VJ won AC in soccer and the match was SOOOOOO EXCITING!
Ive never been so excited in a soccer match in my entire life! It was just so so so awesome. (:
Sat with Jaanani and Mindi and that was extra fun. (: ahahhaha.
Anyway. We won 3-nil. Our favour. (:
The match was awesome. :D
Well. I dont feel like sharing more for now.
My first friendship problem in VJ.
Bummer.
But just one thing before i go.
Today i had the first ASEAN meeting with the track team.
Half the team's the same as last year's. Haha.
Well, i was very honoured as i was selected to be this year's team vice-captain for girls.
It may not seem much, and it may seem like i have to do all the 'sai-kang', but i still feel honoured to have been selected to lead the team this season. (:
Thank you Lord for the appointment of leadership.
I may not be the vice cap of the VJ track team, but i am the vice cap of the ASEAN track team. (:
Thank you Lord. Haha.
And God, HELP. I need wisdom to lead this team. (:
Ah well.
Toodles for now yall.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Life moves on...
Its just one of the times
When you had one of the most perfect moments in life.
You just wish that time would stop right there
And live that moment forever.
Musicfest was awesome.
The adrenelin, the exhileration.
But its all over and life needs to move on.
But i dont want it to. :(
I want to stay in musicfest.
Live that moment forever.
And never forget every bit of it.
Hannah.
The star.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
I won Musicfest'09 :)
Hello all!
I WON MUSICFEST'09. (:
It was the best day of my life,
the best experience i've ever ever had.
Through the whole experience, i've gotten to know so many more people and have bonded with so many people through the whole thing as we spent time together while waiting during rehearsals, helping one another out with our performances, doing crazy stuff and all. (: its been sooooo awesome. (:
Well, yesterday...
Im still trying to take it all in. The atmosphere there was, the perfect performance. I cant describe it all. Its just been a heck of a ride and man, it was one ride i nvere wanna forget.
Yesterday, i started the day with NAPHA.
lol. It rained so we did 5 stations instead. I realised im alot less fit than before. But i ended up with 4As and 1B. Not bad. Im quite proud of my shuttle run. (: 10.5s. hahaha. not bad. :D
After PE, i went to bath, get some food, and then headed off to bio lecture.
I had an interesting good one period of bio lecture, then headed off to the PT to start musicfest tech rehearsals. Lol. Cos i spent alot of time trying to pack my stuff, i was the last one to leave, and when i did, my classmates kept shouting "Good luck hannah!" and all that, that it was soooooooo embarrasing! x) lol. But i appreciate the gesture nontheless. (:
So i went to the PT, only to find i was the first one there. haha. Waited there for awhile, sitting and listening to my music. Then people started coming in and we soon started the musicfest briefing. After the briefing we went to change so that the teachers could vet our costumes to ensure its not revealing of any sort. (:
We soon started the tech run and all. It took kinda long cos the ppl were still trying to sort out the lights and all. But it was really fun cos i got to spend alot of time with the solo vocs. (: Haha. Chit chatting, doing stupid stuff like imitating yelun's hand actions while he sang and stuff. haha. During my turn at the sound check, i sang my song and when they said it was enough, the smoke maching turned on, and it was sooooooo awesome cos it was at the right time! HAha. So i went back to the mic and sang a little bit more of the chorus, then decided i shouldnt hog the stage, so i went off, much to the mini audience's disappointment. Haha. It was evident in their "Awee. Ehh..." etc. Hahaha. Fun neverthelss. (:
Then we went for a break and stuff. I went to change out of my blue shirt into my Pe shirt cos it was more comfy. Haha. Went for some lunch and then back to the PT for a full run of the event. So did a full run, and it went rather badly. I wasnt too pleased with it.
So the time for the real performance came, and i was relaly nervous. While waiting in LT5, i decided i needed to practice my hands. So i stood up and started singing the song with my hands and all. And after awhile, i noticed the noice and chattering all around me stopped, and i felt kinda wierd. So i stopped singing. Hahaha. :P
Well, we soon went backstage, and the feeling was 1 word- Nerve-wrecking. I was really nervous. Watched the dancers perform and the music video, and soon, the vocal solos were up on stage. As i watched jed's and yelun's performances, i felt so nervous my legs couldnt handle it. So i sat down back stage and trembelled. Literally. I was so nervous that i asked some random guy-edward was his name, and asked for his hand. And then i grabbed it and squeezed cos i was so nervous. He totally understood and squatted and let me hold his hand for awhile. Haha. really nice of him.
It was finally my turn, and i was so excited to get out on stage and perform. My video came out, and the crowd went wild! Omg. I cant tell you enough how to crowd went wild. My video made the whole crowd laugh cause of the joke i made about me being a high jumper. :P bet the trackers were the ones who laughed the loudest then. Then came the part where i said i always pulled my leg during training, and that i was pulling theirs too. Then i had this hysterical laugh like they got jacked kinda thing, and the crowd went wild cos they got the joke. haha. And there was applause cos it was so funny. HAhaha. It was so awesome to know the crowd loved my video. I loved it too. (; ahahahah.
The moment my video ended, i ran out onto the stage, and the crowd went wild! I heard so many "Go HANNAH!" And all. A few distinct voices i could recognise were wenyi and weicong, but i heard so many more shouting my name and cheering me on and screaming and WOO. It was amazing to ahve a crowd shout your name. HAhaha.
So i got onto my chair onstage, waited for the music, and the music came. My mic started to work, and i did my thing. I sang. And i sang with all my heart. The moment i hit the first chorus, the crowd went wild for awhile and then it became silent again to hear what i had to sing. But i didnt quite notice that cos i was ready to jump in and be absorbed by the song. The 2nd verse was just AWESOME. I got the 'Dozen roses' part right, and it was perfect.
I hit the chorus again with greater passion than the first, and for the last chorus, i did my long extended 'want it all', and OH DID THE CROWD GO WILD! They cheered through and after that want it all, it was SO AWESOME. My voice just went all the way out, wibrating so nicely and having the perfect pitch and sound i wanted. It was PERFECT! Then i ended the song, and the moment the song ended, THE CROWD WENT WILD! They cheered so so so loudly for a really long time. So many screams, so many cheers, a grand chorus of cheers for me. Wow. It was so amazing. The feeling, the exhiliration, the adrenalin rush. It was so awesome.
I got off stage and the moemtn i hit the backstage, i screamed! Cos i was so pleased with my performance and i was so glad the whole performance was so perfect! eveyone back stage congratulated me and hugged me so tightly. I screamed "I DID IT!" and dom cooed in return "yes you did. And we are very proud of you" followed by nat and kim hugging me from the back. Hahaha. I just kept hugging ppl cos i really really really was soooooooo happy! hahahaha. (:
After that, the solos and i went to the upper gallery to watch the rest of the show. When we were outside the door, we were welcomed by 2 tables of packed POSH brownies! WOOTS! Exhilerated by the fact that we no longer needed to clear phlegm for any reason, we each took one happily. (: Ye lun walked out of the PT to get another one halfway. HAHA.
The show was really really awesome! The vocal groups performed really really well!
Dear mimosa:
They were pretty good, except that they were a little stiff for the song they chose.
Futari:
The idea is really really cute! Perfect pitching and the harmony blends PERFECTLY. It was really pleasing to the ears and enjoyable to watch on the whole. I really really liked them. (: They're performance was FANTABULOUS!
3Mics!:
They were really really cute! Though they started the song on a higher note, they managed to hit all the high notes. And may i add each of them are SO GOOD at what they do? omg. Hahaha. they are FANTASTIC! But i wish they had more harmonising and all. And dom's beatboxing is AMAZING. (: Congrats to them for winning! Haha. Great accapella piece. (:
After them were the dance groups! Im obviously NOT a dancer. Haha. So i cant critic their performances. I think the group that won, Funkout crew were AMAZING! The amount of TALENT there was in that crew was amazing. The show was stunning and they so deserve to win! (: So congrats to them!
Then it was intermission. (: We 3 solos ran out so that we could a)get more brownies, b)not get caught in the stair jam. (:
During the intermission, we went out to meet people and stuff. I was so overwhelmed! All my friends surrounding me, giving me gifts of flowers and all, congratulating me, some promising to kill themselves or others if i didnt win, many giving me hugs, taking pictures, MAN. It was awesome! I felt so loved and adored for once. I felt like a star! :D I wanted to get water but i didnt get my water till about 10mins later cos every step i took i met ppl that congratulated me and hugged me and took pictures and etc. Hahaha. But i loved the feeling of it. It was amazing. Truely amazing. (:
Then me and Jumana went to the treehouse cos Jumana wanted to see it. (: It was great spending some time together. hahaha. She was soooooo happy up there and we took a few pictures. More of her since she's the visitor. And the one deprived of a tree house also. :P Hahahaaha. (: It was a pretty awesome 2 girl time together, though short. (:
Then i walked her back to the PT cos the show was about to resume. (: Took a few more compliments and pictures and hugs on the way out, and met Nat, Jed and a few others outside the PT. The few of us were trying to find out where we were supposed to report. So we walked towards LT5, and saw Funkout Crew walking to the Concorse for free food. So we followed them happily, anxious to reach the food that awaited us. Suddenly, i screamed "OH WAIT! THE NOBODY VIDEO'S ABOUT TO SHOW!!!" Then we all looked at each other alarmingly, and realised the consequences of our missing the show. And we all wanted to watch the nobody mtv SUPER BADLY! It was SO FUNNY OMG! HAHAHHAA. We literally RAN up the stairs to the 3rd floor and into the PT. Haha. And we were just in time for the video! :D
The 2nd half started with the entire audience shouting "FULL DAY" Cos the Emcees were rar raring the crwod and trying to get them to say "We want musicfest". BUT! its VJ. So it turned into "WE WANT FULL DAY!" Nad i was one of them shouting the Full day part. :D hahahahaha. SO FUN. :D
So.
The nobody video got screened and OMG its SOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Couldnt stop laughing at all. It was soooo fun! The audience went wild over it and clapped at the appropriate moments. It was soooooo fun!!!
After that, the bands performed.
The Chinks and the Chocolate man:
Rock is not my personal favourite, but the band accoustics were really really good! Like all the sounds are all over the place, but they were in sinc with one another. The vocalist, Priscilla sang really really well! Her voice suits the song very well. Loved it!
Pause for Applause:
They were really really good!!!
I loved their performance!
maybe cos i prefer they're kind of music but i think they were at least good enough for the 2nd position. They so did not deserve the 3rd position. AT ALL OKAY. :(
DAYM:
Well, they did better than rehearsals thats for sure.
Eduardo's voice suits the song. (:
After that, we went to LT5 to report for prize presentation. It was really fun there! The dancers and evreyone were dancing to NOBODY and it was SO HAPPENING! Then we went backstage, and watched the teachers' performance which was relaly really awesome! And we sang with them annd all. It was so fun! The spirit of having everyone getting into the moment together. it was so so so fun! The 3 of us solos locked arms and moved everywhere like that. (: The 2 of them were so cartoonly gentlemenly. HAhahaha. :P
Soon after the teacehrs were done with their performance, we went onstage behind the curtains to line up according to the line up plane for prize presentation. Vocals at the front, vocal groups behind us etc etc.
Then the 3 of us vocalist were still in the locked arms and the voacl groups behind us were fooling around with us. So we were all fooling around each other. Haha. All the performers jumbled up together and we all posed as the curtains opened. It was SO FUN! HAhahha. The 3 solos infront, the others peeping all around, top, bottom, everywhere! All posing. it was SO FUN! :D :D :D.
Soon, it was the real prize presentation.
The guest of honour was invited onstage and the emcees started to announce the results and all. haha. Yelun, Jed and I shouted "WE WANT FULL DAY". But it was quite a failure. Haha. Then Gail passed the mic to yelun and he shouted "WE WANT FULL DAY" by himself. Hehehehe. :P Ah well.
So.
The emcees asked the audience who they thought was third. And there was a rather loud response "Jed." Quite bad la. But what to do. lol. So the third went to jed. So he went to get his prize, leaving me and yelun centre stage, arm locked. Haha. Then the emcees asked who they thought was sencond. They asked if it was Hannah and the audience went "No..." and when they asked if second was yelun, the audience went "yes..." Omg. SUPER BAD LA. But what to do. Hahaha. So yelun indeed was second, and i won the grand prize. :D
When they announced officially that i was the grand winner, the crowd went wild. I stood. I smiled. I soaked up the cheers. Watched the audience clap with their hands high in the air. I gave a flying kiss with both hands, then bowed twice. Smiled. Waved. And went to receive my prize. (: the GOH told me he knew i'de win. And that was really sweet of him. (: hahahaha.
So the 3 of us met centrestage again, and bowed together. (: Then we went to the back of the stage, congratulating each other. As the prize preesntation went on, as the groups continued to collect their prizes, all the performers started to congratulate each other with handshakes and hugs and all. The atmosphere was just awesome. (:
After the whole event ended, the performers led the audience in YO VJC and PUMP IT! Haha. Super fun can! :D Then the whole stage went chaotic with ppl running up and taking photos with people everywhere. The buzz was so amazing! Haha! :D
I went to collect my prizes from the SC, then took alot more photos, received alot more compliments and also alot more hugs! ^-^ Hahahaha. :D Everywhere i went, people i knew would congratulate me, and praise my performance. It was a real star treatment and i really really enjoyed it. Even people who didnt know me would come up to me and tell me how good a job i did. (: It was really awesome.
After all that, i packed up and got into the car, went to goldkist so my mum could sign the card for the chalet for the trackers. Then after that, we went for supper, then fetched Jumana home. (:
I was dead tired when i got home.
But it was really worth it.
Up till now, i still have yet to comprehend the whole thing nor take it all in. The sudden shot to fame and stardom was just a whole journey of fun and amazing bonding and FUN! I really really really enjoyed this journey i have taken and have abcolutely no regrets. (: It really was the best day of my life so far. (: I still cant forget how the crowd went wild after my performance. It was truely amazing.
Well, i ahve so many people to thank for making this journey so so so great for me.
So many of my friends have been supporting me emotionally and physically and in every way they could, pulling contacts from everywhere. And I really want to thank every single one of my friends because they have played a big role in my journey to music fest. (: Special shout outs to Chantal, Jesselyn and mervyn for endlessly believing and supporting me, understanding when i was stressed up over everything. (; Thank you guys so much. (: Really appreciate it.
I aslo wanna thank the SC. They did a really really really good job on musicfest. (: The prizes were AMAZING, and the whole event was run really really well since day 1. (: Thank you all for supporting me and the rest of the performers, for running the whole event so well, for handling all the problems so nobly. Thank you all for your effort. It is greatly appreciated. (:
And most of all, i wanna thank God.
God has been amazing to me ever since i started this journey. He's sent so many people along my path to help and support me through musicfest. From getting into the semis, to helping me find a beat boxer, then taking him away to teach me to trust that God will never let me fall, but only wants to prosper me in all I do. Thus, giving me the opportunity to perform an even better song. If i had chosen to do the beat box one i had in mind innititally, I might not have made it to the finals. (: But instad, i chose to do a song that glorified and honoured God, and in return, he blessed me with a great semis performance and a place in the finals. (:
After that, God granted me favour with the semis Judges, esp Mrs Judah, who held my hand through the preperation for my finals. He caused Jumana's drama prac to shift to another day so she could come down to support me and help me do my make up, he gave me a great friend like chantal who really helped me and didnt mind not doing my make up though we innitially agreed she would. He helped me get my soundtrack done and key lowered. He granted me many friends through the entire season. And most of all, he granted me a perfect performance.
The performance wasnt perfect, but it was the most perfect performance i could ever ever ask for. My hands miraculously started moving, my body was no longer stiff, my voice sounded enhanced and great, and the atmosphere while singing was just awesome. freaking awesome.
And all this glory belongs to God.
Though the crowd shouted for me,
i shouted for God.
And god heard me, and he granted me favour with all i encountered. (:
Though the crowd credited the prize to me, i credit my talent to God. Cos God first blessed me with my talent, then he enhanced it for his glory, and i dedicated the song to him. (:
If i aint got you, Jesus,
i woulndt have nothing.
Thank you Lord, for everything.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
ONE MORE DAY!
OHMIGOSH!!!
IM SO SO SO EXCITED FOR TMR!
TMR'S MUSIC FEST!
THE DAY I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!
AND IM SO SO SO SO EXCITED!!! :D
BUt i think i should stop thinking about it cos if i do, i might lose the magic needed for tmr.
Oh man. I feel it in ym bones.
I cant wait to perform.
I cant wait to wow crowd.
I want to win so so so bad!
I WANT THE 5HR RECORDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ah well.
But i guess the most important thing is to lift it all up to God, and give him all the glory. Really. (:
I once watched this american idol lady sing the same song im singing- If i aint got you, and when she sang, it spoke to my heart. God spoke to my heart saying that you dont have anything if you aint got him in your life. And i really pray that God will use this God Given opportunity to his glory, and that it will touch the hearts of ppl, and GOd will use this song to speak to the christians in VJ. Hmm. Gotta do something to show that. Maybe i'll look up in the sky and mean it from my heart. (: WOOTS!
CANT WAIT CANT WAIT CANT WAIT!
But before that, i gotta get through PE napha.
Bummer. T-T
IM SO SO SO EXCITED FOR TMR!
TMR'S MUSIC FEST!
THE DAY I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!
AND IM SO SO SO SO EXCITED!!! :D
BUt i think i should stop thinking about it cos if i do, i might lose the magic needed for tmr.
Oh man. I feel it in ym bones.
I cant wait to perform.
I cant wait to wow crowd.
I want to win so so so bad!
I WANT THE 5HR RECORDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ah well.
But i guess the most important thing is to lift it all up to God, and give him all the glory. Really. (:
I once watched this american idol lady sing the same song im singing- If i aint got you, and when she sang, it spoke to my heart. God spoke to my heart saying that you dont have anything if you aint got him in your life. And i really pray that God will use this God Given opportunity to his glory, and that it will touch the hearts of ppl, and GOd will use this song to speak to the christians in VJ. Hmm. Gotta do something to show that. Maybe i'll look up in the sky and mean it from my heart. (: WOOTS!
CANT WAIT CANT WAIT CANT WAIT!
But before that, i gotta get through PE napha.
Bummer. T-T
Monday, May 4, 2009
Saturday, May 2, 2009
My Dream.
I dare to tell you now
That my dream has always been to be
SINGAPORE IDOL.
Im finally old enough to join the competition.
And im dying to go.
But i cant. :(
I cant because i have many priorities-
Track, Studies, Exams etc.
And Singapore Idol happens to fall on all those periods where its Study intensive.
Any fool can tell its more important to concentrate on my studies now when i need to. Cos its more important than a competition as such.
But its my dream.
When your dream stands before you, do you take it, or leave it because of things that hold you back?
I wanna join so badly.
Its my dream.
But i think i need to make a decision against it.
Oh God.
Help. :(
If it is indeed for me,
it will come back in two years time exacly.
After im done with my As, waiting to go into the U.
Oh God i want it so badly.
Please let it come back in 2 years time.
Please. :(
That my dream has always been to be
SINGAPORE IDOL.
Im finally old enough to join the competition.
And im dying to go.
But i cant. :(
I cant because i have many priorities-
Track, Studies, Exams etc.
And Singapore Idol happens to fall on all those periods where its Study intensive.
Any fool can tell its more important to concentrate on my studies now when i need to. Cos its more important than a competition as such.
But its my dream.
When your dream stands before you, do you take it, or leave it because of things that hold you back?
I wanna join so badly.
Its my dream.
But i think i need to make a decision against it.
Oh God.
Help. :(
If it is indeed for me,
it will come back in two years time exacly.
After im done with my As, waiting to go into the U.
Oh God i want it so badly.
Please let it come back in 2 years time.
Please. :(
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