AYE!
Its been a long time eh? :D
Sorry for not updating recently. Lol.
My week has been SO AWESOMELY FUN i had no time to update. :P
SO!
Last week like i said was AWESOMELY FUN! ^-^
I bonded like SOOOOOOOO MUCH with SO MANY PPL!
Ok. Let me tell you one by one. (:
Monday was a mundane day cos well, we were back in school.
I cant remember much about monday, but it was fun, as always. (:
OH! Now i remmeber.
I talked to some ppl in class more indepth. :P
Like mok, zhenfeng, botin, si en... yea.
Nd of course had the usual fun and catching up with chantal and jesselyn. (:
Then training, which was quite tiring i think and we ended at 9pm.
Thereabouts anyways. Haha.
THEN!
Tuesday was the start of the awesomeness! ^-^
Tuesday was a surprise as we had HALF DAY OFF due to good A level grades! ^-^ We ended school at 10.30am. :D Then after that, my class went out for outing! :D And boy did we have fun and bond. I really wanted to be comfortable with who i was and with being around ppl when i came to VJ, and i found that i really was very comfortable with my class. Like i just opened up and just have fun. (: I managed to really get to know alot more ppl more well and find some same frequency crazy ppl like Hafeeza. OMG. We were doing SO MANY STUPID STUFF TGT! It was SO HILARIOUS! LOL!
I also got to bond with jesselyn and mervyn alot because we walked tgt alot because well, i left my camara pouch at some machine after cam whoring. hahaha. :P So we had to walk all the way back to get it. (: It was really sweet of them to walk back with me. (:
So anyway. After that, i went to Fairfield to get my Graduation cert and meet Jumana and catch up with teachers. (: It was SUPER FRUITFUL ^-^ And SUPER FUN! It was awesome to meet Jumana in her uniform and meet Tongjit and his usual nonsense. Then it was awesome to meet many of my ex-teachers and hear them ramble about Jumana's terrible attire and about sch and what nots. HAHA. So FUN! Really miss them. Somewhat, at least. Haha.
Really feels like my life in Fairfield is soooooooo far away.
I think im raelly having a time of my life in VJ la. :D
SO FUN! ^-^
After that, i went to meet Magdalene at Clementi for dinner to catch up. (: I really wish we could ave spent longer cos we were basically stuck at the same topic about her, but i didnt get to tell her much about my life in VJ. So, yea. But it was still super awesome seeing her in her self-declared ite uniform look-alike (PJ Uniform), and hearing her ramble about life and all. (: And it was so awesome catching up with her, really. (: Miss her so much. (:
SO. That was my VERY FRUITFUL TUESDAY! ^_^
Wednesday!
I had anothre half day! :D
It was because the track team went to support the X-try nationals, which was held in the morn. Haha. I think my group was quite awesome. :P Me Lin Xing and Kimberly and Wuileng. (: We went quite a distance down the race route and cheered for the VJ teams. (: We chose a smart position cos at that place, we could cheer for the girls when they ran to and back to the finishing line. :D So we cheered twice for the girls since they passed us while making their u-turn, and once for the guys because they didnt pass us again. It was quite fun la. (: Managed to get to know some more track ppl, and also catching up with more FMSS juniors. (: Haha.
Vj did quite well, i guess. 4th for girls and 2nd for Guys.
We lost to RJ, and when i saw the RJ track team, i was quite shocked cos i realised there were SO MANY national players in the team. Darn. I should have gone RJ. haha. (: Ruiyong came in 1st for cross country, so congrats to him! ^-^ Haha.
So after that, we cam-whored quite abit, then went back to school. Had lunch, slacked, and went back for the last 45mins of GP. haha. Which i found everyone to be half asleep. :P By the time i went for training, my whole body was tired man. Lol. I was so so so tired out. But i had to try and give my all during training anyway. Training was okay.. ahah. i guess. Tiring la.
But another slack and fun day. (:
Thursday!
I had Music Fest Auditions!
I was kinda nervous and i felt kinda wierd cos i dont think anyone's expecting me to join or to be able to sing. Hehe. SO i went to the holding room and saw 2 other girls. I registered, then sat down and read my lyrics, prayed, and decided against thinking about it. haha.
then the 2 girls and i walked down to the music room at 4.30pm. yupp. The music room's really nice, actually. (; The sound that goes around is really good. (: So anyway. I let the other 2 girls go first cos i wanted to see and have a feel of the competition i was facing. The 1st girl sang "Before he cheats" with a minus one. The minus one thing was a little intimidating, but i decided against feeling anything towards it cos i knew what i was doing. She was a little off here and there, but her voice quality's not bad, i guess. (:
Then i let the 2nd girl go next. :P She sang some chinese song. Lol.
Then i went up, gave my score sheets to the judges, then introduced myself. Then i told them i was going to sing "Can you feel the love tonight" and i wanted to do it with no accompanyment cos i wanted them to have a full feel of my voice. (: So i took a deep breathe and i sang. I think i did quite a good job out of it. (: Thank God. Ahhaha.
After that, i went to train on my own.
Did only 8 throws cos i wanted to train myself to push my all in that 8 throws, just like i do for competition. Cos i realised that im actually quite spoilt for time cos during training i just throw endlessly. And i cant do that for nationals. So if i dont get the distance within my 1st 6 throws, thats it man. No more. So i threw on my own.
Shermaine was nice enough to accompany me while i threw. (: And i got to know her a little more then. (: And after that, i went to the gym to do some power jerks. Then Thong en came along. (: Haha. It was the first time i ever talked to him about serious stuff, and i realised how nice a senior he actually is. (: In fact, he's just like me. haha. (: Really awesome getting to know him beyond that joker he always seems to me. I really thank God for blessing me with a great bunch of seniors. (: They're so awesome. (:
Friday, i got my blue slip! :D And i ponned PE! :D SUPER FUN! :D
Me Mok and Botin spent the period tgt. Trying to study. I ended up playing bo's ipod. :P ahaha. With mok. While Bo slept. HAha. SUPER FUN. ^-^ Then during the break before class, sien, Hafeeza, bo and i bonded through an interesting medium- MUSIC. HAHAH. We were like singing westlife like mad la. Super fun. (:
After school, i had training that ended kinda late? My legs were aching like mad from the crazy running. Gosh. Im getting slower! And thats cause for concern. :( Anyway. After training, it was like 7.45pm. So i was debating btw dinner with throws team or lcell. And i was tempted not to go for lcell cos it was so late already. My mum suggested i ask my coach for a lift, but i didnt know whteher to or not. So while i was changing in the toilet, i just said to myself "成是在天", and when i walked out of the cubical and peered out the door, i realised my coach's car wasnt there any more. So i thought to myself "I guess this means i shouldnt go for cell.". The moment i walked out the toilet, there my coach's car was, waiting for me.
MY coach offered me a ride and i accepted. So i went to church and here's the best part- My coach and his wife fetched me all the way to church w/o me knowing it! OMG! I was so shocked. Seriously. Haha. I was so amazed at how God provided.
And i had no regrets going to church. Cos i drew closer to God, discarded all the things i had been struggling with, and really just opened up the channel that was kinda blocked. (: Finally received a vision from God for my school. I saw myself in a very dark place. And I stood up and lighted a torch. The moment i did that, many others started to light up their torches as well. I felt the vision was a call from God to rise up and be unashamed and unafraid to be the christian God has called me to be. To start sharing the word of God and standing for all i believe in, in christ.
After lcell, i talked to sis raine about leaving worship min, and she gave me till the end of april to decide. It is true im still a little undecided about it, and whether it is a different season. I must indeed pray more and seek God more about this issue. Cos i dont want to make a wrong decision that will affect my walk with God negatively.
After that, i caught up with my cell sps plus a few more. (: we had diner at macs and caught up quite abit with some peeps. (: The world is so small, seriously! I met one of Jumana's BOB victims! AHHA! What a joke, serously. ;)
Saturday.
Training...
THAIPAN with Huij and Wuileng.
Then church. (:
Caught up abit with Jessica. (:
I think we're relaly gonna get along and i really really wanna sow into her life and help her grow. (: I really do believe God has set me over her for a reason. And i dont want to let yet aother life go wasted in my care. so i am going to rise up and take ownership of my sb. (:
I realised that the cell's actually going through alot with Bro Victor's transition out of the cell. And i realised how much more i need to step up my game. Julian's like our cell leader now la. And i cannot sit by the side and do nothing. There's a reason why God put me in this cell. Though i resented the thought of it at the beginning, i knew that God had a reason to put me in this cell. And i guess it was for such a time as this. (: I need to start praying, start waring, start believing for growth and nurturaton to take place in the cell. And i need to rise up as well. Leading the cell is no one-man show. (:
Service was good.
Worhsip was POWERFUL!
It really amazes me how much Benny has grown in her annointing as a worhsip leader and the quality of her voice. (: Im proud of her. (: Really. ahhaha. Worship was really good. The fast songs really spoke to me. Actually, all the songs really spoke to my heart this weekend. It was awesome. (: Sister Gwen's message was really powerful. (: she's awesome man. I hope she becomes a pastor soon. (:
After that i went to Uncle Phillip and Aunt Siong yu's house for their baby dedication that my dad was doing for them. (: Had dinner and had GREAT COFFEE. :D And met one of the noisiest and cutest little girls ever. Haha. A tad too noisy though. Makes me feel somewhat happy i dont have a little little sister. Lol. :P Ah well.
SUNDAY.
Chinese tution was a bore.
It was interesting, but my body was way too tired to handle all that. Haha.
I wanted to go down to support the VJ team, but i didnt get to cos my parents werent too keen on me running around. So i didnt. :S Ah well. Boring Sunday la. Haha.
Monday.
Thats today!
The music fest semifinalist list came out.
I GOT IN! :D
Im a music fest semi finalist! :D
Thank God!
Now i gotta think of a good performance for the semis cos the competition's getting tougher!
Any suggestions? :D Hhahahahaha. (:
Monday, March 30, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Be still.
I think my mind has been a raging storm recently.
Many thoughts shooting around all the time.
When im alone, i think and think and think and come to no conclusion to the things i need to think about. I want to talk it out, but yet i want to find the right person and time to talk about it. I want to solve the problems, but there are no solutions i can find yet.
What do i do?
My flu's a bother, i cant think clearly.
I feel so far from God, my mind was fluttering during service.
But today, it was a very interesting service.
I couldnt worship God properly.
I was distracted by many things like the things i was thinkiing about as well as my flu.
It was like a wall that i couldnt bridge past.
But still, i think Pastor Andy's message was a timely one.
About Suffering and how we can find hope in God because God will provide a way to breakthrough the problem and how we need to persevere through the trials because through perseverance comes growth in many ways.
Well, ive been struggling with many decisions, many thoughts, many things that are bothering me like a splinter in my thumb. Its subtle, but yet it still bothers.
I think the altar call was a great idea. The idea of leaders lining up and then youths going up to their leader and telling them the area they're struggling with. Its amazing how powerful it is.
I went up after awhile of struggling with my pride.
I wanted to go up to sis Grace since she was now my leader, but she had her hands full, so i went to the next free leader- Sister Lorraine. Yupp.
I told her that i think i need to reconsider my priorities and that i felt far from God.
So she prayed.
And she said that she was reminded about the story of Mary and Martha. That Mary had decided to stay by the Lord's feet to listen while Martha was distracted by everything else that needed to be done. And she said to me that what was important for me was to be still and wait on God. That i need not be so caught up doing everything else and striving to complete the things to serve God, but rather be still and wait upon God.
And she said God was never far away. But i was too busy to listen. And i needed to be still and wait for God for a few moments. I had to wait and be still. For a few moments. Like literally.
So after she was done, i stayed at the altar and just stood still. And pressed into the presence of God, wanting to have a more intimate conversation with him.
as i stood there, Sis Vivian came and prayed for me. And her prayer really struck the nails in my head.
She said that she felt that my heart was weary by what, she did not know. She said it could be ministry, it could be meeting ppl's expectation or even expectations of myself. She said that i was holding onto something and that it was holding me back. Im holding on to victories of the past, of the glory of being in the limelight. And she said something about serving God, but i cant quite remember what. And she told me to be still before God. Be still. Be still.
And it really spoke to my heart.
I have been contemplating leaving Worship Ministry.
Yepp. Big bomb to those who know me.
I feel like my heart isnt there any longer and the commitment is getting too time consuming as my JC life piles up. I dont know if there is any other underlining reason behind it, but i am thinking about it. Im going to start praying about it and im going to talk to sis varina about it because i need to be sure before i let the worship leaders know.
My heart was indeed weary of the ministry. I was getting tired and worn out trying to reach the expectations set by the ministry. Not that its bad, but rather it has been set so that we may serve God to the fullest. Perhaps my laziness of sort has caused me to be worn out because i start to find it a chore. Or maybe i just need an attitude re-adjustment. I dont know. thats why i didnt approach the worship leaders yet. And thats why im going to talk to sis varina tmr.
Holding on.
What exacly am i holding on to thats preventing me from moving on?
Ministry?. Perhaps. I dont know.
Previous victories and the glory and limelight...
Doesnt that sound so familier?
I dont know.
But one thing both leaders said was to be still before the presence of the Lord.
Be still, and wait upon God.
Be still.
Many thoughts shooting around all the time.
When im alone, i think and think and think and come to no conclusion to the things i need to think about. I want to talk it out, but yet i want to find the right person and time to talk about it. I want to solve the problems, but there are no solutions i can find yet.
What do i do?
My flu's a bother, i cant think clearly.
I feel so far from God, my mind was fluttering during service.
But today, it was a very interesting service.
I couldnt worship God properly.
I was distracted by many things like the things i was thinkiing about as well as my flu.
It was like a wall that i couldnt bridge past.
But still, i think Pastor Andy's message was a timely one.
About Suffering and how we can find hope in God because God will provide a way to breakthrough the problem and how we need to persevere through the trials because through perseverance comes growth in many ways.
Well, ive been struggling with many decisions, many thoughts, many things that are bothering me like a splinter in my thumb. Its subtle, but yet it still bothers.
I think the altar call was a great idea. The idea of leaders lining up and then youths going up to their leader and telling them the area they're struggling with. Its amazing how powerful it is.
I went up after awhile of struggling with my pride.
I wanted to go up to sis Grace since she was now my leader, but she had her hands full, so i went to the next free leader- Sister Lorraine. Yupp.
I told her that i think i need to reconsider my priorities and that i felt far from God.
So she prayed.
And she said that she was reminded about the story of Mary and Martha. That Mary had decided to stay by the Lord's feet to listen while Martha was distracted by everything else that needed to be done. And she said to me that what was important for me was to be still and wait on God. That i need not be so caught up doing everything else and striving to complete the things to serve God, but rather be still and wait upon God.
And she said God was never far away. But i was too busy to listen. And i needed to be still and wait for God for a few moments. I had to wait and be still. For a few moments. Like literally.
So after she was done, i stayed at the altar and just stood still. And pressed into the presence of God, wanting to have a more intimate conversation with him.
as i stood there, Sis Vivian came and prayed for me. And her prayer really struck the nails in my head.
She said that she felt that my heart was weary by what, she did not know. She said it could be ministry, it could be meeting ppl's expectation or even expectations of myself. She said that i was holding onto something and that it was holding me back. Im holding on to victories of the past, of the glory of being in the limelight. And she said something about serving God, but i cant quite remember what. And she told me to be still before God. Be still. Be still.
And it really spoke to my heart.
I have been contemplating leaving Worship Ministry.
Yepp. Big bomb to those who know me.
I feel like my heart isnt there any longer and the commitment is getting too time consuming as my JC life piles up. I dont know if there is any other underlining reason behind it, but i am thinking about it. Im going to start praying about it and im going to talk to sis varina about it because i need to be sure before i let the worship leaders know.
My heart was indeed weary of the ministry. I was getting tired and worn out trying to reach the expectations set by the ministry. Not that its bad, but rather it has been set so that we may serve God to the fullest. Perhaps my laziness of sort has caused me to be worn out because i start to find it a chore. Or maybe i just need an attitude re-adjustment. I dont know. thats why i didnt approach the worship leaders yet. And thats why im going to talk to sis varina tmr.
Holding on.
What exacly am i holding on to thats preventing me from moving on?
Ministry?. Perhaps. I dont know.
Previous victories and the glory and limelight...
Doesnt that sound so familier?
I dont know.
But one thing both leaders said was to be still before the presence of the Lord.
Be still, and wait upon God.
Be still.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
The Power of "Thank You"
Thank You.
Two very simple yet powerful words.
Most of us take them for granted.
Yet when used at the most appropriate time can make somebody's day.
We use it to express our gratitude.
We use it to to prove our point
We use it out of politeless
Yet sometimes we use it in scorn.
Thank you, two very simple words,
yet some find hard to say.
A simple Thank You can change an opinion about you,
or a lack of can cause as misjudge about your character.
Obviously my poem skills arent very good,
but allow me to try and prove my point.
Hahahaha.
Anyway.
I realised today how powerful these 2 words can be.
Like in America's Next Top Model, the judges find it very rude if a model doesnt understand the meaning or how to use Thank You, and it may cause a model her position in ANTM.
In the workplace, i lack of thank you may cause your boss to be very unhappy with you for being an impolite employee, or in school its just plain rude not to say thank You to your teacher when they've done so much.
Thank You.
What makes it so special?
Well, today, Steven really made my day though he didnt do anything. He said these simple 2 words- Thank You.
I've been planning the THOR outing which totally didnt work out and though it is quite a hassel, i dont mind doing it because well, its for a greater good. And i also do want to see everyone and i also want to help everyone see everyone. If that makes sense to you. Haha. Well, i used like 50+ smses to try and organise and no, im really really not complaining but im just explaining the situation. Haha.
Anyway. I was really touched by Steven cos he was the only one out of the whole group to thank me for putting in effort to organise the outings and stuff. I felt like Jesus when only 1 leper came back to thank him. Haha. I guess that Thanks meant so much more because out of the many of them, only one came to thank me. And that one Thanks was enough. It warmed my heart and i felt like all that i've given has already been paid back to me.
Thank you.
2 simple yet poweful words that can melt a cold heart.
Thank you.
2 words that can make someone feel loved and special.
Thank you.
2 Amazing words that made my day. (:
Two very simple yet powerful words.
Most of us take them for granted.
Yet when used at the most appropriate time can make somebody's day.
We use it to express our gratitude.
We use it to to prove our point
We use it out of politeless
Yet sometimes we use it in scorn.
Thank you, two very simple words,
yet some find hard to say.
A simple Thank You can change an opinion about you,
or a lack of can cause as misjudge about your character.
Obviously my poem skills arent very good,
but allow me to try and prove my point.
Hahahaha.
Anyway.
I realised today how powerful these 2 words can be.
Like in America's Next Top Model, the judges find it very rude if a model doesnt understand the meaning or how to use Thank You, and it may cause a model her position in ANTM.
In the workplace, i lack of thank you may cause your boss to be very unhappy with you for being an impolite employee, or in school its just plain rude not to say thank You to your teacher when they've done so much.
Thank You.
What makes it so special?
Well, today, Steven really made my day though he didnt do anything. He said these simple 2 words- Thank You.
I've been planning the THOR outing which totally didnt work out and though it is quite a hassel, i dont mind doing it because well, its for a greater good. And i also do want to see everyone and i also want to help everyone see everyone. If that makes sense to you. Haha. Well, i used like 50+ smses to try and organise and no, im really really not complaining but im just explaining the situation. Haha.
Anyway. I was really touched by Steven cos he was the only one out of the whole group to thank me for putting in effort to organise the outings and stuff. I felt like Jesus when only 1 leper came back to thank him. Haha. I guess that Thanks meant so much more because out of the many of them, only one came to thank me. And that one Thanks was enough. It warmed my heart and i felt like all that i've given has already been paid back to me.
Thank you.
2 simple yet poweful words that can melt a cold heart.
Thank you.
2 words that can make someone feel loved and special.
Thank you.
2 Amazing words that made my day. (:
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Obesity!
Obesity's the new in thing!
Look at the trend every health shop is showing!
It shows that Obesity is the growing trend in every country, every city and every state!
Look at the fast food chains!
They're booming like never before!
They're advertisements are so invitingly awesome!
Look at the big kids!
Some can outrun skinny ppl!
So what are you waiting for!
Start eating!
Stop losing!
Obesity's the new in thing man! x)
Look at the trend every health shop is showing!
It shows that Obesity is the growing trend in every country, every city and every state!
Look at the fast food chains!
They're booming like never before!
They're advertisements are so invitingly awesome!
Look at the big kids!
Some can outrun skinny ppl!
So what are you waiting for!
Start eating!
Stop losing!
Obesity's the new in thing man! x)
9th
Now would you take a look at that.
I came in 9th.
One position short of aother 3 throws.
AH THAT SUCKS
Its even worse to know that the 3rd pos is only 27m...
Which is also my normal discus distance with not much effort.
What the nut happened.... T-T
Aye...
And that Stupid Steven said he got 2nd because everyone else screwed up.
But even if that was the case, i think it was a good loss cos he lost to Joel Wei.
Not bad la.
hahahaa. Losing to a national runner.
Not bad after all. (:
Maybe, just maybe i'll have a few VJ ppl going to ASEAN. :D
Pray harder!
SO FUN! ^-^
I came in 9th.
One position short of aother 3 throws.
AH THAT SUCKS
Its even worse to know that the 3rd pos is only 27m...
Which is also my normal discus distance with not much effort.
What the nut happened.... T-T
Aye...
And that Stupid Steven said he got 2nd because everyone else screwed up.
But even if that was the case, i think it was a good loss cos he lost to Joel Wei.
Not bad la.
hahahaa. Losing to a national runner.
Not bad after all. (:
Maybe, just maybe i'll have a few VJ ppl going to ASEAN. :D
Pray harder!
SO FUN! ^-^
Sunday, March 15, 2009
4E
Today i went out with 4E for dinner at Fish and CO.
I really felt very alien and distant from everyone.
Like i didnt belong anymore.
It felt wierd, like i became different, and everyone else became very indifferent about it. Kinda wierd, but i guess thats what happens when you leave the group.
Somewhat, at least.
I dont know.
But nevertheless, it was graet seeing everyone again. (:
Good to know everyone's doing well whever they are. (:
Perhaps Victorians are different from ACsians. lol
I really felt very alien and distant from everyone.
Like i didnt belong anymore.
It felt wierd, like i became different, and everyone else became very indifferent about it. Kinda wierd, but i guess thats what happens when you leave the group.
Somewhat, at least.
I dont know.
But nevertheless, it was graet seeing everyone again. (:
Good to know everyone's doing well whever they are. (:
Perhaps Victorians are different from ACsians. lol
A flop. Haha
Today.
Was an interesting day.
Haha.
Well, i had all comers today, and i went hoping to get at least a top 8, though i secretly wanted a top 3. :P Hehehehehehe.
Well, it didnt quite work out that way.
I went for discus actually feeling quite good about it, and having the good throw feeling.
I felt rested up and ready to throw.
BUT.
My throws werent good.
My furthest throw was 25.15m.
AND. I didnt get into top 8. LOL.
Which shows the standard has now risen.
And its time to stop taking discus as a joke if i really want a medal.
What a joke, seriously.
HAHAHA.
Hannah didnt get top 8.
No one believed me la can.
Lol. I told Ms Tan and she thought i was lying.
HA!
Aye. Even champions can fall once in awhile.
Well, considering its not my main event, its totally fine that i dont ge top 8.
The problem is, though its not my main, my discus can still make it to the top few.
Cos of my brute strength.
In fact, everyone expects me to be able to throw 30m easily with my brute strength.
Sigh.. I think i just need to get the whip in discus.
After that, i'll be okay. Haha. (:
Ah well.
Thank God anyway.
Looks like a one day rest does work for me. (:
After comp, which took horrendously long because of the number of ppl there, i chit chatted with some throwers and all, and then went to bath and wait for my sis.
By the time my sis was done, it was 5+. but i decided to go to church anyway. So i did. And i went into the halls at 5.45pm. Thankfully, sermon hadnt started yet and they were still worshipping. The moment i walked in, i felt the presence of God. So i went to a place and sat by myself and started worshipping God. And the moment i did that, i felt the spirit starting to minister to me already. It was amazing.
Oh yes. Special mention of Haruki that walked all the way to my seat to pass me a bulletin. (: So very sweet of him, really. (: And Samuel who walked me to my seat and asked abt my comp. Haha. (: Awesome CHes. ;)
Like i said, i had been struggling to keep myself on my feet, keep myself from falling. And i realised that all i had to do, was count on God. So when the songs came, esp counting on God, the faith in me rose. My trust in God rose. I knew where the issue layed and i decided to count on God cos that was all i ever needed.
It was amazing how everything in that short service spoke to my heart. Like it tugged at my heart strings and hit the nail in the head for many things. The Holy spirit convicted me about many things i had been thinking about and have thought about and he brought it to surface. All i had to do was to trust God, really. And trust that the Holy Spirit knows what he's doing.
During altar call, i responded cos i knew indeed it was something i needed to respond to. And 2 leaders prayed for me, Bro Vic and Sis Gwen. Bro Vic's prayer was really powerful and it hit the nail in the head. He prayed many things but one of the things that struck me was that i would be placed on places of great influence so i may lead ppl to go the right way. And sis Gwen's prayer was one that was laid on top of his. That the peace and gentleness of God and the Holy Spirit was upon me. And that God is going to use me to let his peace and gentleness to minister to someone sometime soon.
How amazing is that?
An outspoken person with a gentle spirit.
Quite amazing huh.
But it doesnt mean i need to act demure. HAHA. (:
Ah well. I think that it was really amazing, and indeed, God's presence was there. (:
After church, i rushed off to UWC to go for their musical with Jumana and her friend, bryan. It was quite an interesting musical and i realised that the main lead had a low vocal range, like me. Like she never went beyond a certain note, but still sounded good. And her vocal range was somewhat like mine. :P Quite cool huh. Might be a sign. :P Ah well. (:
Well, i dont know how to end of nicely to this one.
But i guess its been a relatively interesting day.
AM seriously considering training more.
I need it if i seriously want to hit 13m and get a 30 for discus.
God help me.
Im Counting on God.
On my sports as well.
Was an interesting day.
Haha.
Well, i had all comers today, and i went hoping to get at least a top 8, though i secretly wanted a top 3. :P Hehehehehehe.
Well, it didnt quite work out that way.
I went for discus actually feeling quite good about it, and having the good throw feeling.
I felt rested up and ready to throw.
BUT.
My throws werent good.
My furthest throw was 25.15m.
AND. I didnt get into top 8. LOL.
Which shows the standard has now risen.
And its time to stop taking discus as a joke if i really want a medal.
What a joke, seriously.
HAHAHA.
Hannah didnt get top 8.
No one believed me la can.
Lol. I told Ms Tan and she thought i was lying.
HA!
Aye. Even champions can fall once in awhile.
Well, considering its not my main event, its totally fine that i dont ge top 8.
The problem is, though its not my main, my discus can still make it to the top few.
Cos of my brute strength.
In fact, everyone expects me to be able to throw 30m easily with my brute strength.
Sigh.. I think i just need to get the whip in discus.
After that, i'll be okay. Haha. (:
Ah well.
Thank God anyway.
Looks like a one day rest does work for me. (:
After comp, which took horrendously long because of the number of ppl there, i chit chatted with some throwers and all, and then went to bath and wait for my sis.
By the time my sis was done, it was 5+. but i decided to go to church anyway. So i did. And i went into the halls at 5.45pm. Thankfully, sermon hadnt started yet and they were still worshipping. The moment i walked in, i felt the presence of God. So i went to a place and sat by myself and started worshipping God. And the moment i did that, i felt the spirit starting to minister to me already. It was amazing.
Oh yes. Special mention of Haruki that walked all the way to my seat to pass me a bulletin. (: So very sweet of him, really. (: And Samuel who walked me to my seat and asked abt my comp. Haha. (: Awesome CHes. ;)
Like i said, i had been struggling to keep myself on my feet, keep myself from falling. And i realised that all i had to do, was count on God. So when the songs came, esp counting on God, the faith in me rose. My trust in God rose. I knew where the issue layed and i decided to count on God cos that was all i ever needed.
It was amazing how everything in that short service spoke to my heart. Like it tugged at my heart strings and hit the nail in the head for many things. The Holy spirit convicted me about many things i had been thinking about and have thought about and he brought it to surface. All i had to do was to trust God, really. And trust that the Holy Spirit knows what he's doing.
During altar call, i responded cos i knew indeed it was something i needed to respond to. And 2 leaders prayed for me, Bro Vic and Sis Gwen. Bro Vic's prayer was really powerful and it hit the nail in the head. He prayed many things but one of the things that struck me was that i would be placed on places of great influence so i may lead ppl to go the right way. And sis Gwen's prayer was one that was laid on top of his. That the peace and gentleness of God and the Holy Spirit was upon me. And that God is going to use me to let his peace and gentleness to minister to someone sometime soon.
How amazing is that?
An outspoken person with a gentle spirit.
Quite amazing huh.
But it doesnt mean i need to act demure. HAHA. (:
Ah well. I think that it was really amazing, and indeed, God's presence was there. (:
After church, i rushed off to UWC to go for their musical with Jumana and her friend, bryan. It was quite an interesting musical and i realised that the main lead had a low vocal range, like me. Like she never went beyond a certain note, but still sounded good. And her vocal range was somewhat like mine. :P Quite cool huh. Might be a sign. :P Ah well. (:
Well, i dont know how to end of nicely to this one.
But i guess its been a relatively interesting day.
AM seriously considering training more.
I need it if i seriously want to hit 13m and get a 30 for discus.
God help me.
Im Counting on God.
On my sports as well.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Uncle Jimmy
My Dad's friend, whom i've always known as Uncle Jimmy passed away on Thursday Morning.
Although he's not quite considered my direct friend since he's my father's friend, i felt a loss when he passed away because I've known him since young and he's one of those uncles that watched me grow up. I saw him stand by my father, supporting, caring, and warring for my dad and i've really come to love having him around.
Its really sad that he passed away so soon.
But I thank God that he is with the Lord, and that he's led a victorious life.
I just want to share a little something about what the Dewers and the South Mins people came together last christmas to bless him, because it really shows how much God loves Uncle Jimmy. And im still left in awe and wonder everytime i think about it.
The sweetest song Ive ever sung was not today, nor yesterday, nor the day before.But it was on Christmas eve.
On the evening of christmas eve, My family and I, together with a group of friends, went down to visit my dad's friend who had cancer. WE wanted to bless him by singing a group of carols. And its really amazing how things worked out. It was so evident that the Lord really loves him.
This particular person is Uncle Jimmy. Everyone calls him my dad's armour bearer because he has been like the armour bearer for my father. Always supporting him in everyway he can. And he has led a great and victorious life for the Lord, and the Lord has used this little event to bless uncle Jimmy. This is what happened:
My dad wanted to do something to bless uncle Jimmy. So he got together a few old and close friends to get together to help do this for uncle Jimmy. From a group of about 10, a group of about 30 people went to bless him.
My dad needed christmas carol lyrics for everyone so that we may all be able to bless him with this event. But he had juts returned the carol sheets used in Island Wide Christmas party back to church and hence, had none left for us to use. This got him worried for quite some time. But yet, i saw the faith my father had that God would provide. Up till the day before the event, my dad still couldnt find any source of lyrics for us to use. Just as we were about to find from the internet and print it out, my dad found a whole set of about 70 carol sheets lying at a corner of the room, recently dug out whilst clearing his room. He took it, and there it was- Our source of lyrics.
The lyrics had been brought all the way back from Canada. And it had been kept away till he took it out recently, w/o the plans of singing carols for Uncle Jimmy. It was amazing how God had prevented my dad from throwing away the lyrics. but keeping and preserving it and even causing my dad to take them out just when they were needed. Indeed, God was using these little ways to provide the blessing for uncle jimmy.
To cut the story short, my mum was able to find someone to sponsor food for refreshments for the ppl going. It was quite amazing. My dad had also been spending some time to look for ppl to play music for us to sing to. I did offer, but my dad wasnt quite satisfied that i could only play in G. Then, someone offered her son to go, and her son brought someone from CM to come play for us. And on that day itself, we had not 1, but 2 professionals playing for us. God provided once again.
So we went on that fateful christmas eve to uncle jimmy's house. My dad had asked me to do a solo of silent night during the event. I agreed. And after about only 2 rounds of practice at the void deck, we went to his place to bless him.
As we started to sing the carols, i sensed a great presence of God in that place. In fact, i felt that it wasnt just us that were singing the carols, but a whole chorus of angels were there to sing along. I couldnt see them physically obviously, but i could somehow sense and know that they were there. I could hear them sing for suddenly, the music and the chorals were so majestic, so powerful, so amazing.
Just before it came to my turn, i took the opportunity to clear my throat and talk to God. For once in my life, i cried out to God to use my voice to bless uncle Jimmy and Aunty Margaret. I seeked not my own recognition nor my fame. But i wholeheartedly wanted the best to bless the couple. I wanted the best i could give so that they would be blessed. And when i realised that, i realised that i had broken free of the pride i once held. I no longer became about me. It became about them. It became about doing the best for someone else. It became me asking God to bless me so i could bless someone else. I was prepared.
So i stepped out and did my best. My voice was the best i could have ever given and my instincts guided the way. In fact, it became easier to sing the entire song. It wasnt as rough as it had been just before. I know that they were blessed by that simple offering i gave. It was the sweetest song ive ever sung.
I consider it the sweetest as God had used my voice to minister and to bless. And that is enough. Thats what happens when i give my talents to God and let him use it in his own way. He uses it to bless others. He uses it to bless me.The sweetest song I'll sing is when i leave my voice in total surrender for the use of God. And God makes it beautiful when he uses it for his glory. :)
Although he's not quite considered my direct friend since he's my father's friend, i felt a loss when he passed away because I've known him since young and he's one of those uncles that watched me grow up. I saw him stand by my father, supporting, caring, and warring for my dad and i've really come to love having him around.
Its really sad that he passed away so soon.
But I thank God that he is with the Lord, and that he's led a victorious life.
I just want to share a little something about what the Dewers and the South Mins people came together last christmas to bless him, because it really shows how much God loves Uncle Jimmy. And im still left in awe and wonder everytime i think about it.
The sweetest song Ive ever sung was not today, nor yesterday, nor the day before.But it was on Christmas eve.
On the evening of christmas eve, My family and I, together with a group of friends, went down to visit my dad's friend who had cancer. WE wanted to bless him by singing a group of carols. And its really amazing how things worked out. It was so evident that the Lord really loves him.
This particular person is Uncle Jimmy. Everyone calls him my dad's armour bearer because he has been like the armour bearer for my father. Always supporting him in everyway he can. And he has led a great and victorious life for the Lord, and the Lord has used this little event to bless uncle Jimmy. This is what happened:
My dad wanted to do something to bless uncle Jimmy. So he got together a few old and close friends to get together to help do this for uncle Jimmy. From a group of about 10, a group of about 30 people went to bless him.
My dad needed christmas carol lyrics for everyone so that we may all be able to bless him with this event. But he had juts returned the carol sheets used in Island Wide Christmas party back to church and hence, had none left for us to use. This got him worried for quite some time. But yet, i saw the faith my father had that God would provide. Up till the day before the event, my dad still couldnt find any source of lyrics for us to use. Just as we were about to find from the internet and print it out, my dad found a whole set of about 70 carol sheets lying at a corner of the room, recently dug out whilst clearing his room. He took it, and there it was- Our source of lyrics.
The lyrics had been brought all the way back from Canada. And it had been kept away till he took it out recently, w/o the plans of singing carols for Uncle Jimmy. It was amazing how God had prevented my dad from throwing away the lyrics. but keeping and preserving it and even causing my dad to take them out just when they were needed. Indeed, God was using these little ways to provide the blessing for uncle jimmy.
To cut the story short, my mum was able to find someone to sponsor food for refreshments for the ppl going. It was quite amazing. My dad had also been spending some time to look for ppl to play music for us to sing to. I did offer, but my dad wasnt quite satisfied that i could only play in G. Then, someone offered her son to go, and her son brought someone from CM to come play for us. And on that day itself, we had not 1, but 2 professionals playing for us. God provided once again.
So we went on that fateful christmas eve to uncle jimmy's house. My dad had asked me to do a solo of silent night during the event. I agreed. And after about only 2 rounds of practice at the void deck, we went to his place to bless him.
As we started to sing the carols, i sensed a great presence of God in that place. In fact, i felt that it wasnt just us that were singing the carols, but a whole chorus of angels were there to sing along. I couldnt see them physically obviously, but i could somehow sense and know that they were there. I could hear them sing for suddenly, the music and the chorals were so majestic, so powerful, so amazing.
Just before it came to my turn, i took the opportunity to clear my throat and talk to God. For once in my life, i cried out to God to use my voice to bless uncle Jimmy and Aunty Margaret. I seeked not my own recognition nor my fame. But i wholeheartedly wanted the best to bless the couple. I wanted the best i could give so that they would be blessed. And when i realised that, i realised that i had broken free of the pride i once held. I no longer became about me. It became about them. It became about doing the best for someone else. It became me asking God to bless me so i could bless someone else. I was prepared.
So i stepped out and did my best. My voice was the best i could have ever given and my instincts guided the way. In fact, it became easier to sing the entire song. It wasnt as rough as it had been just before. I know that they were blessed by that simple offering i gave. It was the sweetest song ive ever sung.
I consider it the sweetest as God had used my voice to minister and to bless. And that is enough. Thats what happens when i give my talents to God and let him use it in his own way. He uses it to bless others. He uses it to bless me.The sweetest song I'll sing is when i leave my voice in total surrender for the use of God. And God makes it beautiful when he uses it for his glory. :)
Friday, March 13, 2009
Life's such a mystery.
Life is such a mystery.
There's like so much going through my mind i cant exacly point out what im thinking.
What am i thinking?
Last sat, sis Varina came up to me and said she had a word for me.
"Dont compare, just be yourself."
At first, i found it kinda odd but important. And so i asked her to msg it to me.
And after she did, well, i did chuck it aside, somewhat.
Until recently, a sudden thought dropped into my head about the whole thing.
And i realised how relevant it was.
How i seemed to be losing myself as i changed with my environment.
As i stopped ferevently standing up for what i believe is right.
As i started to face a brunt of unfamilier wind.
What was happening to me?
Then i remembered sis Varina's note
And i whipped out my phone and looked for it. And the words
"Dont compare, Just be yourself" popped out to me.
I also noticed the "Be it in school or in worship min etc..."
And it really struck my heart.
What made me unhappy in subtle ways.
Why sometimes i didnt seem content to be where i was, who i was.
It was because of comparison.
Comparing my position to others.
Comparing what i was before and what i was now.
Comparing my differences with others.
Comparing.
COmparing.
Comparing.
Until i forgot who i was.
Until i forgot that God had set me aside with a different destiny.
Until i forgot the promises of God laid over my life.
Who am i?
Where is that Hannah that would never waver from what she believed in?
What was i thinking?
Good Girl Gone Bad indeed.
And it hurt to think i was losing myself.
It hurt even more to think i had let myself come close to hurting God.
It hurt the most to compare.
Why compare, Hannah?
Just be yourself.
You are unique and your circumstances are differnt.
You dont have to follow the world because they arent the ones that forge your destiny.
YOU ARE!
You're in VJ.
Everyone who got in got in through either brains or brawns.
And most of them are brains.
Why compare?
You know you're the kind that needs to work hard.
You know you're the kind that needs to be consistent.
You know you need to add an extra effort to do as well as the rest.
STOP COMPARING ALREADY!
You're in worship.
Things are changing there.
We're going a new direction.
We have crossed over.
Why do you keep looking back and remeninscing the old?
Why do you keep embracing the way of the old when the way of the old is no longer applicable in the new season?
STOP COMPARING ALREADY!
God. Has set me apart.
God, has given me gifts that i have that many may not be blessed with.
God, has chosen me for a different purpose.
Hence, many things in my life are not going the way i intended it to be because what seems right in my eyes may not nessecarily be what God sees as best in his eyes.
God intended me to be great.
Why settle for anything less than ordinary?
And to be the person and victorian (pun not intended), i need to trust in God and in myself.
I tend to forget to trust both God and myself. I need to trust God because he knows what he's doing, as he always has, and i need to trust myself. Because only when i truely be who i am and only when i follow what is true to my heart, then i will be happy and satisfied with life.
Why compare?
Just be yourself.
And know that God is still God.
There's like so much going through my mind i cant exacly point out what im thinking.
What am i thinking?
Last sat, sis Varina came up to me and said she had a word for me.
"Dont compare, just be yourself."
At first, i found it kinda odd but important. And so i asked her to msg it to me.
And after she did, well, i did chuck it aside, somewhat.
Until recently, a sudden thought dropped into my head about the whole thing.
And i realised how relevant it was.
How i seemed to be losing myself as i changed with my environment.
As i stopped ferevently standing up for what i believe is right.
As i started to face a brunt of unfamilier wind.
What was happening to me?
Then i remembered sis Varina's note
And i whipped out my phone and looked for it. And the words
"Dont compare, Just be yourself" popped out to me.
I also noticed the "Be it in school or in worship min etc..."
And it really struck my heart.
What made me unhappy in subtle ways.
Why sometimes i didnt seem content to be where i was, who i was.
It was because of comparison.
Comparing my position to others.
Comparing what i was before and what i was now.
Comparing my differences with others.
Comparing.
COmparing.
Comparing.
Until i forgot who i was.
Until i forgot that God had set me aside with a different destiny.
Until i forgot the promises of God laid over my life.
Who am i?
Where is that Hannah that would never waver from what she believed in?
What was i thinking?
Good Girl Gone Bad indeed.
And it hurt to think i was losing myself.
It hurt even more to think i had let myself come close to hurting God.
It hurt the most to compare.
Why compare, Hannah?
Just be yourself.
You are unique and your circumstances are differnt.
You dont have to follow the world because they arent the ones that forge your destiny.
YOU ARE!
You're in VJ.
Everyone who got in got in through either brains or brawns.
And most of them are brains.
Why compare?
You know you're the kind that needs to work hard.
You know you're the kind that needs to be consistent.
You know you need to add an extra effort to do as well as the rest.
STOP COMPARING ALREADY!
You're in worship.
Things are changing there.
We're going a new direction.
We have crossed over.
Why do you keep looking back and remeninscing the old?
Why do you keep embracing the way of the old when the way of the old is no longer applicable in the new season?
STOP COMPARING ALREADY!
God. Has set me apart.
God, has given me gifts that i have that many may not be blessed with.
God, has chosen me for a different purpose.
Hence, many things in my life are not going the way i intended it to be because what seems right in my eyes may not nessecarily be what God sees as best in his eyes.
God intended me to be great.
Why settle for anything less than ordinary?
And to be the person and victorian (pun not intended), i need to trust in God and in myself.
I tend to forget to trust both God and myself. I need to trust God because he knows what he's doing, as he always has, and i need to trust myself. Because only when i truely be who i am and only when i follow what is true to my heart, then i will be happy and satisfied with life.
Why compare?
Just be yourself.
And know that God is still God.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
Different
Today,
I had a really fun time with my class and class mates as usual. (:
I tried i new style today. :P
Everyone was blown away. hahahaha.
I tried to braid my hair and its been really succesful recently after months of practice in the car when i have nothing to do. :P hahaha.
I tried it yesterday when i went to church.
Ppl said i look different and better and etc...
But the real interesting responses came today. Hahaha.
Some ppl took awhile to recognise me...
Others were mesmerised by my new found beauty...
Most said i looked different,
and even more said i looked Demure...
HAHAHAHA. x) So fun la can!
I only braided my hair and let down my fringe...
What a sight to see. haha. x)
Ah well.
Perhaps i should actually change my hairstyle to that.
Monday wednesday and friday will be the sports hair and shoes,
and Tuesday and Thursday the demure hair plus nice shoes. hahahaha! x)
Ah well.
Anyway.
I think im getting closer to my classmates and we're really starting to have fun.
Though the work part's not really working out THAT well. Haha.
But its fine cos they're all so darn smart anyway. ;)
I love VJ. (:
I had a really fun time with my class and class mates as usual. (:
I tried i new style today. :P
Everyone was blown away. hahahaha.
I tried to braid my hair and its been really succesful recently after months of practice in the car when i have nothing to do. :P hahaha.
I tried it yesterday when i went to church.
Ppl said i look different and better and etc...
But the real interesting responses came today. Hahaha.
Some ppl took awhile to recognise me...
Others were mesmerised by my new found beauty...
Most said i looked different,
and even more said i looked Demure...
HAHAHAHA. x) So fun la can!
I only braided my hair and let down my fringe...
What a sight to see. haha. x)
Ah well.
Perhaps i should actually change my hairstyle to that.
Monday wednesday and friday will be the sports hair and shoes,
and Tuesday and Thursday the demure hair plus nice shoes. hahahaha! x)
Ah well.
Anyway.
I think im getting closer to my classmates and we're really starting to have fun.
Though the work part's not really working out THAT well. Haha.
But its fine cos they're all so darn smart anyway. ;)
I love VJ. (:
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Confidence, babe!
Lol!
Seriously, i think i have a confidence issue. T-T
Unbelievable.
For someone blessed with many talents, i get intimidated by competition very easily.
For example, i totally freaked out after realising i was one of the smallest throwers in Asean, but still came in 4th.
And now music fest. lol.
I know I've got the substance but i keep doubting myself.
I dont know.
But i cant let this go on.
Hannah, get a grip!
You're fine, really.
And just do your best.
Have confidence in yourself to be able to go far.
Cos you can.
CONFIDENCE, BABE!
Seriously, i think i have a confidence issue. T-T
Unbelievable.
For someone blessed with many talents, i get intimidated by competition very easily.
For example, i totally freaked out after realising i was one of the smallest throwers in Asean, but still came in 4th.
And now music fest. lol.
I know I've got the substance but i keep doubting myself.
I dont know.
But i cant let this go on.
Hannah, get a grip!
You're fine, really.
And just do your best.
Have confidence in yourself to be able to go far.
Cos you can.
CONFIDENCE, BABE!
My Mouth
God spoke to me about my mouth yesterday through ephesians.
And i really found what God said to be true.
I've really been too careless with my words.
In fact, i might have come across as a mean person.
Not that i meant to, but the impression i give may seem more mean than witty.
Not that im exacly a witty person. lol.
But as i thought about it, i really thank God for the friends that i have because they still accept me with my big mouth. Lol. But i have decided to watch my mouth from now on. So that i may say things at the right moment, and encourage more whenever i can. (:
And i really found what God said to be true.
I've really been too careless with my words.
In fact, i might have come across as a mean person.
Not that i meant to, but the impression i give may seem more mean than witty.
Not that im exacly a witty person. lol.
But as i thought about it, i really thank God for the friends that i have because they still accept me with my big mouth. Lol. But i have decided to watch my mouth from now on. So that i may say things at the right moment, and encourage more whenever i can. (:
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Chased out of class
Today was seriously a joke. lol.
But other than a joke, i think it was the first time i have ever paid much attention to class. Esp Econs lecture. Haha. I think Bio's chapter on enzyme is easy to understand and oh. Lectures are SO FUN! ^-^
Today during bio, other than Mr Chong putting himself in btw Botin and Jasper, we were having alot of fun. Haha. Me and Hansheng were trying to sabo each other by screaming each others name to volunteer to answer some bio question. hahaha. (: So fun la pls. :D Though i think Mr Chong was a little irritated by that. :P
The day was rather fun as usual. (: Made alot of noise as a class as usual.
I think we're all getting closer and getting to know each other better. But like Chantal said, we're not very close yet. But then agaain, we've only known each other for a month. (: So, its not surprising. haha. I somehow feel that now as we spend more time with each other, you can slowly see the characteristics of different ones become more prominent and you start to see who they really are. And i think its quite interesting. (:
Well, during PW, i got chased out of class.
Yupp, you'de better believe it.
The model student and Best Girl award winner for sec 2 in Fmss got chased out of class in less than a month in VJ. How awesome is that.
It was extreeeeemely embarrasing and i felt really horrid that i wanted to cry. But i was more shocked than sad and i couldnt stop laughing because i felt it was really ridiculous that i got chased out of class. Hello. You've got issues man. Me? Hannah lee? Chased out of class?! Omg....
And the reason is even more gay okay.
Because i didnt bring/do my EOM article to class. T-T
What the nut la seriously.
And its not like im not serious in my work okay. Walao.
lol.
Mr Chong wasnt exacly angry or disappointed.
I kinda figured he wanted to use it as a psycological warning to the class and to the few of us. lol.
And i happened to be the lucky no 1 first batch. T-T Great. T-T lol. Ah well.
After class, Chantal and I did the Pegasus banner that no one kindly helped out with. So it was just the two of us. I didnt mind though cos i think its actually easier to manage cos you have quality control. But ah well. Halfway through we kinda realised we needed more paint of other colours and better brushes. So we got Jesselyn to help us get them after her date. :P hehehehe. :D And she so awesomely nicely helped us get the stuff. haha.
So we nearly completed it. In fact, it already looks awesome. Like one of the best Pegasus banners? But Chantal wants to add a little more flavour to make it look even better. So hold your horses! The most awesome banner's coming up soon! ^-^
I got Botin to join captain's ball with me for VOG. :D Yay! Hahaha.
Oh. And i joined Music Fest.
Now all my friends are trying to get a sneak preview of my voice.
Lol.
Ah well. (:
You should have seen the look on Thomas' face when i signed up for music fest.
lol. Ah well. (:
But other than a joke, i think it was the first time i have ever paid much attention to class. Esp Econs lecture. Haha. I think Bio's chapter on enzyme is easy to understand and oh. Lectures are SO FUN! ^-^
Today during bio, other than Mr Chong putting himself in btw Botin and Jasper, we were having alot of fun. Haha. Me and Hansheng were trying to sabo each other by screaming each others name to volunteer to answer some bio question. hahaha. (: So fun la pls. :D Though i think Mr Chong was a little irritated by that. :P
The day was rather fun as usual. (: Made alot of noise as a class as usual.
I think we're all getting closer and getting to know each other better. But like Chantal said, we're not very close yet. But then agaain, we've only known each other for a month. (: So, its not surprising. haha. I somehow feel that now as we spend more time with each other, you can slowly see the characteristics of different ones become more prominent and you start to see who they really are. And i think its quite interesting. (:
Well, during PW, i got chased out of class.
Yupp, you'de better believe it.
The model student and Best Girl award winner for sec 2 in Fmss got chased out of class in less than a month in VJ. How awesome is that.
It was extreeeeemely embarrasing and i felt really horrid that i wanted to cry. But i was more shocked than sad and i couldnt stop laughing because i felt it was really ridiculous that i got chased out of class. Hello. You've got issues man. Me? Hannah lee? Chased out of class?! Omg....
And the reason is even more gay okay.
Because i didnt bring/do my EOM article to class. T-T
What the nut la seriously.
And its not like im not serious in my work okay. Walao.
lol.
Mr Chong wasnt exacly angry or disappointed.
I kinda figured he wanted to use it as a psycological warning to the class and to the few of us. lol.
And i happened to be the lucky no 1 first batch. T-T Great. T-T lol. Ah well.
After class, Chantal and I did the Pegasus banner that no one kindly helped out with. So it was just the two of us. I didnt mind though cos i think its actually easier to manage cos you have quality control. But ah well. Halfway through we kinda realised we needed more paint of other colours and better brushes. So we got Jesselyn to help us get them after her date. :P hehehehe. :D And she so awesomely nicely helped us get the stuff. haha.
So we nearly completed it. In fact, it already looks awesome. Like one of the best Pegasus banners? But Chantal wants to add a little more flavour to make it look even better. So hold your horses! The most awesome banner's coming up soon! ^-^
I got Botin to join captain's ball with me for VOG. :D Yay! Hahaha.
Oh. And i joined Music Fest.
Now all my friends are trying to get a sneak preview of my voice.
Lol.
Ah well. (:
You should have seen the look on Thomas' face when i signed up for music fest.
lol. Ah well. (:
Monday, March 2, 2009
Pushing the Limits
Yesterday, i checked out several competitions that i had aimed to go and compete for for this year. And most of the results were to my utter disappointment plus horror.
1) I cant go for Asian Youth because im too OLD. T_T 1 Year too late. :(
2) To qualify for Sea Games Junior, i need to throw at least 11.65m during an official competition.
3) To qualify for World Youth held in ITALY, i have to throw 12.50m
O_O
seriously.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Anyway.
Today i had VOG shot putt event.
As somewhat expected, i didnt do that well.
I really wanted to though, but it just didnt come through today.
I felt kinda tired and i really wanted to sleep before the event. Lol.
But i still gave it my all, but yet i hit a mere 10.50m. T-T
Though i totally trashed the record.
But it was still horrendously disappointing i didnt hit my 11m.
Everyone who knows me is anticipating me to hit my 11m.
And i can imagine my competitors cheering loudly when i hit an official 11m because they're really awesome competitors. (:
Aye.
The best part is, i threw 11m after my official 6th throw. T-T
Me and Fush were stunned man.
And i was sooooooooooo pissed, seriously.
Coach wasnt too happy with Fush's and my distances as well.
lol. Its relaly horrible esp when you constantly hit 11m during training. T-T
At least it was a constant 10.5 i guess... Which means im ready to shoot even higher cos the mark has been broken even. and with an extra good throw, i should be able to hit even further.
Im really contemplating training everyday.
It seems like if i dont train on some day, my body looks for action on its own. lol.
Im thinkign of taking abt an hour after school on tues and thurs to throw because my archilles heel is really my technique. So i need to find a way to correct it, or risk opportunities to represent Singapore. :( *Sigh..*
Anyway.
After throws, we had some gym training.
And i nearly died.
Literally.
Clean was pretty managable.
I did 50kg but i felt great and perhaps could do heavier weight.
Step up was a killer.
I did 45kg for 10x5 and i really had to grit my teeth and get through the exercise. I usually do 40kg, so i guess 45kg was a big leap for me. Well, it really made me exhausted and tired out and i shouted while doing the exercise to get myself to continue the exercise. It was terribly strainious.
The thing that kept me going was the thought "World youth... World Youth... World Youth... You have to train to get to World Youth..." And that really made me push myself to my limits. I felt everyone's eyes on me, and mind you, the gym was full of ppl then. But i didnt care. I couldnt. If i were to lose concentration by a bit, i think i would have lost it or something. Aye.
But i did complete the sets and by the end of it, i was so darned tired out i just collapsed onto my knees and panted for awhile. It was quite bad i think. lol.
After that we had to do bench. I seriously hadnt recovered but i still went to try anyway.
The moment i lifted the 40+kg off the stand to do my warm up, my arms collapsed, i lost my senses and the next thing i knew, the entire bar/weight fell onto me. Somehow, instead of falling onto my chest, it fell onto my stomach.
I screamed, obviously. its no joke having a 40+kg thing fall onto your body. And it took about 3 seconds before anyone reacted. Lol. Then Huijuan and Fush helped me carry the bar back onto the stand and i fell off the chair. I wasnt exacly in pain but i wasnt exacly ecstatic either. Well, obviously. Lol.
I was quite tired plus a little not in touch with my senses at that point of time. It was like a point of exhaustion that you might faint if you pushed yourself anymore. Lol. I think its probably one of the worst exhaustion ive ever had yet. In Vj, that is. Lol.
But i thank God im still alive. I dont think the 40kg would have killed me, but if it had landed on my chest, i might have died, or at least land in hospital for a good long time. And really miss my comps. I really thank God because come to think of it, my hands were somewhat lead to move infront and the bar was pretty well dropped onto my abdomen. The best part it, when it landed, it wasnt a hard heavy land, but it was soft and cushioned. Maybe im just fat. But still, it could have hurt or injured my organs. yet nothing was damaged.
Thank God im still alive.
After that, my coach told me to rest and he wanted to reduce some of the exercises.
As i rested and walked around, i felt like crying. Actually, i did. I was upset and angry with myself. I was disappointed that i couldnt reach 11m, i was disappointed that there was a possibility that i wouldnt make it far, i was sad that i may never get to go furthur than Asean. I was afraid that i may never reach 13m, nor go past anywhere i was now. I was disappointed that my body gave way to exhaustion in such a dramatic way.
After ahwile, i pulled myself together and forced myself to stop crying. I rested, took it easy, and then continued with my training. After awhile, my body got its energy back and i decided to complete the entire training, without the slack coach had granted to me. And I felt really glad tha ti made it through training.
I feel even more thankful to my teammates. (:
They really cared for me and constantly cheered me on and supported me and checked on me wherever i went and in whatever i did. And that really touched my heart. Thank God for such an awesome team, really. (:
Ah well.
I need to push myself if i really wnat to get to the top.
Or at least get somewhere. haha. (:
Lord, like i said to you, I put it in your hands. I will work hard, but whether i really make it or not, i put it in your hands for you to decide. If you will for me to go, AWESOME. But even if you dnt, it makes no difference for i will still trust in your decisions. For your ways are greater than mine. And I seek to honour you in everyway that i can. So Lord, Be Glorified in all ways.
1) I cant go for Asian Youth because im too OLD. T_T 1 Year too late. :(
2) To qualify for Sea Games Junior, i need to throw at least 11.65m during an official competition.
3) To qualify for World Youth held in ITALY, i have to throw 12.50m
O_O
seriously.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Anyway.
Today i had VOG shot putt event.
As somewhat expected, i didnt do that well.
I really wanted to though, but it just didnt come through today.
I felt kinda tired and i really wanted to sleep before the event. Lol.
But i still gave it my all, but yet i hit a mere 10.50m. T-T
Though i totally trashed the record.
But it was still horrendously disappointing i didnt hit my 11m.
Everyone who knows me is anticipating me to hit my 11m.
And i can imagine my competitors cheering loudly when i hit an official 11m because they're really awesome competitors. (:
Aye.
The best part is, i threw 11m after my official 6th throw. T-T
Me and Fush were stunned man.
And i was sooooooooooo pissed, seriously.
Coach wasnt too happy with Fush's and my distances as well.
lol. Its relaly horrible esp when you constantly hit 11m during training. T-T
At least it was a constant 10.5 i guess... Which means im ready to shoot even higher cos the mark has been broken even. and with an extra good throw, i should be able to hit even further.
Im really contemplating training everyday.
It seems like if i dont train on some day, my body looks for action on its own. lol.
Im thinkign of taking abt an hour after school on tues and thurs to throw because my archilles heel is really my technique. So i need to find a way to correct it, or risk opportunities to represent Singapore. :( *Sigh..*
Anyway.
After throws, we had some gym training.
And i nearly died.
Literally.
Clean was pretty managable.
I did 50kg but i felt great and perhaps could do heavier weight.
Step up was a killer.
I did 45kg for 10x5 and i really had to grit my teeth and get through the exercise. I usually do 40kg, so i guess 45kg was a big leap for me. Well, it really made me exhausted and tired out and i shouted while doing the exercise to get myself to continue the exercise. It was terribly strainious.
The thing that kept me going was the thought "World youth... World Youth... World Youth... You have to train to get to World Youth..." And that really made me push myself to my limits. I felt everyone's eyes on me, and mind you, the gym was full of ppl then. But i didnt care. I couldnt. If i were to lose concentration by a bit, i think i would have lost it or something. Aye.
But i did complete the sets and by the end of it, i was so darned tired out i just collapsed onto my knees and panted for awhile. It was quite bad i think. lol.
After that we had to do bench. I seriously hadnt recovered but i still went to try anyway.
The moment i lifted the 40+kg off the stand to do my warm up, my arms collapsed, i lost my senses and the next thing i knew, the entire bar/weight fell onto me. Somehow, instead of falling onto my chest, it fell onto my stomach.
I screamed, obviously. its no joke having a 40+kg thing fall onto your body. And it took about 3 seconds before anyone reacted. Lol. Then Huijuan and Fush helped me carry the bar back onto the stand and i fell off the chair. I wasnt exacly in pain but i wasnt exacly ecstatic either. Well, obviously. Lol.
I was quite tired plus a little not in touch with my senses at that point of time. It was like a point of exhaustion that you might faint if you pushed yourself anymore. Lol. I think its probably one of the worst exhaustion ive ever had yet. In Vj, that is. Lol.
But i thank God im still alive. I dont think the 40kg would have killed me, but if it had landed on my chest, i might have died, or at least land in hospital for a good long time. And really miss my comps. I really thank God because come to think of it, my hands were somewhat lead to move infront and the bar was pretty well dropped onto my abdomen. The best part it, when it landed, it wasnt a hard heavy land, but it was soft and cushioned. Maybe im just fat. But still, it could have hurt or injured my organs. yet nothing was damaged.
Thank God im still alive.
After that, my coach told me to rest and he wanted to reduce some of the exercises.
As i rested and walked around, i felt like crying. Actually, i did. I was upset and angry with myself. I was disappointed that i couldnt reach 11m, i was disappointed that there was a possibility that i wouldnt make it far, i was sad that i may never get to go furthur than Asean. I was afraid that i may never reach 13m, nor go past anywhere i was now. I was disappointed that my body gave way to exhaustion in such a dramatic way.
After ahwile, i pulled myself together and forced myself to stop crying. I rested, took it easy, and then continued with my training. After awhile, my body got its energy back and i decided to complete the entire training, without the slack coach had granted to me. And I felt really glad tha ti made it through training.
I feel even more thankful to my teammates. (:
They really cared for me and constantly cheered me on and supported me and checked on me wherever i went and in whatever i did. And that really touched my heart. Thank God for such an awesome team, really. (:
Ah well.
I need to push myself if i really wnat to get to the top.
Or at least get somewhere. haha. (:
Lord, like i said to you, I put it in your hands. I will work hard, but whether i really make it or not, i put it in your hands for you to decide. If you will for me to go, AWESOME. But even if you dnt, it makes no difference for i will still trust in your decisions. For your ways are greater than mine. And I seek to honour you in everyway that i can. So Lord, Be Glorified in all ways.
Draw me nearer.
God touched me again.
Life has been perfectly normal. Ive been doing well in school, having fun, enjoying life, spending time with God. But somehow, i felt odd in church this weekend, and God met me this weekend.
During cell, i was pretty okay. Pretty normal and awesome as usual. But when Bro vic showed us a picture of a tree and kids all over the place doing different things, he asked us to choose one and say why it shows where you are in your walk with God.
I chose 2 kids. One girl sitting idly on a branch and one boy lying on the groud feeling dizzy from a fall. I hated to admit i felt like the boy on the ground cos i never like to show myself as weak or down in my walk with God, esp since im an SP. But somehow, i knew that if the cell were to start opening to each other and grow together, i had to start the ball rolling. For my own good, i had to let my cell and leaders know. For my own good, i had to admit to myself where i really was.
I said i was like the girl because i feel like im just sitting on a high branch waiting for things to happen, observing my view, looking out for what i can do, what destiny God has to bring. Its like waiting for God to lead me to make something happen.
But yet i was like the boy. Because i feel like i've fallen. And when i started on the boy, i broke out in tears, and i dont know why. I guess it hurt to admit that i had fallen. It hurt to face what i really feel. I felt like i've fallen away from where i was with God, i felt like i was losing myself and my values. I felt that i had lost many things and i felt confused and alone. And just like the boy, sitting on the ground feeling dizzy, i had fallen. And thats how i really felt because i dont seem to know what to do any longer.
After that, i did stop crying. lol. Then we sang Jesus loves me together, and it started again. Then i stopped after pairing up with Shalyn and Davelle and sharing with them how i felt and all. It was wierd cos i really had no idea why i was crying because i felt fine. Maybe it was the presence of God and i didnt even know it. lol.
shalyn shared with me this verse from James that said the testing of faith comes perseverence. And i had to persevere on with the testing of my faith. Yes God, i will go on beause i know that your way is better than mine. After that, i quickly made my way to chapel to serve.
I stepped onto stage really feeling okay and ready to serve. But God wasnt done with me yet. Instaed of the usaul Praise and worhsip, God turned things around. Pastor Andy called for an altar call for a few things. Emptiness, suicide, self worth and a few more. At first i didnt feel like answering it because, well, i was serving and how odd is it to disappear to the altars and let the whole ministry know that you're answering the altar call? Once again, i didnt want to seem weak in any area. So i stood my ground.
So i thought.
Well, the moment the team starting singing draw me nearer, i broke down. I couldnt sing. I was just stuck on the spot crying. So i gingerly put down my mic and went to the altars and knelt down before the Lord. To why or what it was, i had no answers. No one did. It was odd. Really odd.
Bro titus came and prayed for me. And even he said that i was Feeling something no words could describe. And indeed, no words could describe how i felt,. Then he prayed for the love of God and the love of the Holy Spirit to wrap around me and dig deep inside my heart. To warm my spirit and to break the spirit of condemnation. Condemnation of what? I dont know. Maybe God will reveal in the days to come, but i was really touched as i felt the Love of God surround me once again. To feel the presence of God so near his breath was only a tear apart. I felt comforted. I felt moved.
Then pastor Andy shared about Martha and Mary. And it really spoke to me. Instead of always fighting and fighting to stand strong, i should be still and embrace the presence of the Lord. For that is enough. Just like an empty vessel that lets the power of God fully flow through.
Then just as i thought altar call was going to end, Bro Victor came to pray for me. Though at the back of my mind i thought "what a joker", but deep in my heart i was glad he came. And he prayed a powerful prayer that spoke to my heart. That i must hold on to the promises of God in my life and believe in mypurpose in VJ. That i will be the warrior of God that God has intended me to be. And that i need not fight so hard, but allow the Lord to fight for me.
And after that, was communion and service per normal. I felt really refreshed and comforted after altar call. It was amazing. God met me once again and truely surprised me. Because i did not expect to meet God in such a way that saturday.
Indeed Lord, draw me closer to you. Its my heart's cry and desire to sit close to your feet. To serrve you with all my heart. And to see hope rise and see people come to know you for who you are. Just as i have, lord. Indeed, draw me closer to you. I desire to be closer to you.
Draw me nearer to you
Neare to you
Fill my life with your presence
The way you want to
Till my soul is ablaze
Each and everyday
Draw me nearer
Nearer to you
Life has been perfectly normal. Ive been doing well in school, having fun, enjoying life, spending time with God. But somehow, i felt odd in church this weekend, and God met me this weekend.
During cell, i was pretty okay. Pretty normal and awesome as usual. But when Bro vic showed us a picture of a tree and kids all over the place doing different things, he asked us to choose one and say why it shows where you are in your walk with God.
I chose 2 kids. One girl sitting idly on a branch and one boy lying on the groud feeling dizzy from a fall. I hated to admit i felt like the boy on the ground cos i never like to show myself as weak or down in my walk with God, esp since im an SP. But somehow, i knew that if the cell were to start opening to each other and grow together, i had to start the ball rolling. For my own good, i had to let my cell and leaders know. For my own good, i had to admit to myself where i really was.
I said i was like the girl because i feel like im just sitting on a high branch waiting for things to happen, observing my view, looking out for what i can do, what destiny God has to bring. Its like waiting for God to lead me to make something happen.
But yet i was like the boy. Because i feel like i've fallen. And when i started on the boy, i broke out in tears, and i dont know why. I guess it hurt to admit that i had fallen. It hurt to face what i really feel. I felt like i've fallen away from where i was with God, i felt like i was losing myself and my values. I felt that i had lost many things and i felt confused and alone. And just like the boy, sitting on the ground feeling dizzy, i had fallen. And thats how i really felt because i dont seem to know what to do any longer.
After that, i did stop crying. lol. Then we sang Jesus loves me together, and it started again. Then i stopped after pairing up with Shalyn and Davelle and sharing with them how i felt and all. It was wierd cos i really had no idea why i was crying because i felt fine. Maybe it was the presence of God and i didnt even know it. lol.
shalyn shared with me this verse from James that said the testing of faith comes perseverence. And i had to persevere on with the testing of my faith. Yes God, i will go on beause i know that your way is better than mine. After that, i quickly made my way to chapel to serve.
I stepped onto stage really feeling okay and ready to serve. But God wasnt done with me yet. Instaed of the usaul Praise and worhsip, God turned things around. Pastor Andy called for an altar call for a few things. Emptiness, suicide, self worth and a few more. At first i didnt feel like answering it because, well, i was serving and how odd is it to disappear to the altars and let the whole ministry know that you're answering the altar call? Once again, i didnt want to seem weak in any area. So i stood my ground.
So i thought.
Well, the moment the team starting singing draw me nearer, i broke down. I couldnt sing. I was just stuck on the spot crying. So i gingerly put down my mic and went to the altars and knelt down before the Lord. To why or what it was, i had no answers. No one did. It was odd. Really odd.
Bro titus came and prayed for me. And even he said that i was Feeling something no words could describe. And indeed, no words could describe how i felt,. Then he prayed for the love of God and the love of the Holy Spirit to wrap around me and dig deep inside my heart. To warm my spirit and to break the spirit of condemnation. Condemnation of what? I dont know. Maybe God will reveal in the days to come, but i was really touched as i felt the Love of God surround me once again. To feel the presence of God so near his breath was only a tear apart. I felt comforted. I felt moved.
Then pastor Andy shared about Martha and Mary. And it really spoke to me. Instead of always fighting and fighting to stand strong, i should be still and embrace the presence of the Lord. For that is enough. Just like an empty vessel that lets the power of God fully flow through.
Then just as i thought altar call was going to end, Bro Victor came to pray for me. Though at the back of my mind i thought "what a joker", but deep in my heart i was glad he came. And he prayed a powerful prayer that spoke to my heart. That i must hold on to the promises of God in my life and believe in mypurpose in VJ. That i will be the warrior of God that God has intended me to be. And that i need not fight so hard, but allow the Lord to fight for me.
And after that, was communion and service per normal. I felt really refreshed and comforted after altar call. It was amazing. God met me once again and truely surprised me. Because i did not expect to meet God in such a way that saturday.
Indeed Lord, draw me closer to you. Its my heart's cry and desire to sit close to your feet. To serrve you with all my heart. And to see hope rise and see people come to know you for who you are. Just as i have, lord. Indeed, draw me closer to you. I desire to be closer to you.
Draw me nearer to you
Neare to you
Fill my life with your presence
The way you want to
Till my soul is ablaze
Each and everyday
Draw me nearer
Nearer to you
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)