Not good...

I think my throwing is deproving. :(
I dont know what happened but ever since 2 fridays ago, i've been struggling with my throws. My reaction is way off and it seems im really struggling to get my body in line with training. I dont know whats happening to me and it relaly sucks esp when i want to improve so badly. :(

My coach was telling a few of us about how some people are just born strong.
It was then i realised that im not big enough to be a great thrower.
I wasnt born especially strong, but i was born stronger than average.
I dont know and i dont blame God. But you know i just cant help thinking about how things would be if i were bigger, if i were stronger. But then again, if i were any huger, i wouldnt look as fantastic as i do now. So.. I dont know. Its just a mix of fantasy plus the desire to win.

I have a great build, though one of the smallest for a thrower.
I have strength, though not the speed nor the technique good enough to aid the strength.
But most of all, i have God. And he never fails me.

For i know the plans i have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

Indeed, God has a plan for me. I dont know what but right now, i need to trust God. Its not easy considering all the odds starting to come against me. But i know that my God is greater than all. So what do i fear? What should i fear? But have faith that God knows what he's doing.

I may or may not be the best in the world.
I will strive to be the best in the world.
But for now,
for this year.
Being a champion in Asia would be awesome.
I want to stand on the podium and receive my medal.
I want to hear the national anthem played in my honour and in my glory that belongs to God.
I want to make my parents and friends proud of me.

ANd im not gonna let any setbacks stop me.
Training is super hard and intensive.
But im not giving up.
Im gonna give it my all.

I am an athlete.
And i have God as my guide.