I really hate goodbyes.

Today,
Chinese New Year was a little more gloomy for me.

Pi Wei left this morn.
I can handle that.
At least i was okay till i thought about it 1hr before his flight.
I really nearly cried.
I fought hard to keep the tears back in my eye sockets.
But the moment i made a stupid mistake while cutting something,
i was so angry and upset i really thought i'de lose it.
But thankfully, i didnt.

Today was rather fun.
And that helped me take my mind off piwei's departure.
I think why i feel so...sad.. is because,
we were just getting to know each other.
Just getting closer.
And suddenly, he had to leave.
Its like finding your childhood friend again and just when you want to spend time with him/her, she/he has to leave.
The feeling is just...
Sickening.

But anyway.
In the morn, my dad's sister and her family came to visit.
Then after that we went to visit my dad's 5th brother.
Met up with my cousins once again, and the oldest one of the 3 has a son, Ethen, who is horribly cute!
He's so cuddly and i love hugging him while i was carrying him. (:
and then he'll smile...
And tilt his head to look at you in all directions...
SO CUTE!!!

Then we had lunch at my 5th uncle's place.
And then we went home.
Played the new wii with my sis for awhile, then went to help my parents prepare for the annual CNY dinner with the regular family friends. (:
And after that was a series of more wii and watching tv.

Dinner was really great, but for some reason, i had no appetite today.
I didnt get to attack the GIGANTIC crab claw i'de usually go for.
I was so full after a little food.
Aye.
Maybe its because i havent trained hard enough.
Cos when i do, my metabolism shoots and i eat like a pig.
Seriously.
Haha.
Ah well.
As usual, dinner was awesome, thanks to my great pops (:

Played alot of wii and finally trashed my couz at wii. :D
MUAHAHAHHA.
Tables have been turned. (:
Life is good.
Haha.

But after the party and all,
i trained a little, doing my wrist excercises as promised to both my coach and myself, while watching tv, and afterwards deciding i want to use the com.
After a nice bath, i came to sit at the com.
I started thinking about goodbyes again.
I saw my whole bunch of fairfield formal photos sticking out of my cupboard.
I pushed it back immediately for i knew staring at it any longer would only make me cry.

Goodbye...
First Piwei.
Now my Fairfield friends...
I dont know how to handle it.

God.
You've sent me to Vj...
You've sent me to the ends of the earth.
You've sent me to places i cant see.
Lord, i fear.
I tremble at the thought of being in a foreign land.
I fear being out of my comfort zone.
I fear what is to come.

But father.
I know that you've called me to places i cant see.
But Lord open my eyes.
I know that you've called me to people i cant reach.
But Lord, stir within me
a heart to see your kingdom come.
A passion for your will to be done.
Lord, Give me a heart for my generation.
I know you have set me apart for your great commision.

And Lord, I will go.
Wherever you lead i will follow.
I have counted the cost,
and i will carry my cross.
So take my hands,
for all that i have are yours.
For you, have laid out my course
and i have decided to live for this cause...

Lord.
I will go.
But go before me.

Just as you sent the people of Isreal into the promise land.
The promise land was filled with giants that made the people tremble to their knees.
In the same way, i see the giants in my promise land that make me tremble to my knees.
But i know that my God is greater than the giants of the promise land.
And as he did for isreal, he will do for me-
He will destroy them and give them into my hands.

VJ- My promise land.
Lord, give me strength to brave the storm.
For i will conquer the land for my generation.

Thank you Lord for already starting to pave the way.
Teachers from church.
Strong christian teachers in Pe dept.
A christian fellowship ready to start.
Christians in VJ about to start warring for their generation.
God.
I know you're going to do great things in VJ.
I really do. (:

But im still really bad with goodbyes.
My world's changing 180degrees.
I'll have to say goodbye.
But im not sure how well i'de handle it.

I love you God.
I love you Fairfield.

Lord, thank you for 4 glorious years in Fairfield.

But because it was glorious, its all the more harder to say goodbye.

But God, before i step into my new season, im going to let go. and let God.
Take a hold of me Lord.
Take a hold of me.